My Heart’s Keeper
by Nicxxx
Summary: AH, AU No one knows the real Edward and the reason why he is the way he is. What is keeping him from revealing his true self? Is Bella the person who will open him up and reveal his dark past and heal his black heart? Can she be his Heart’s Keeper?
1. Chapter 1

**My Heart's Keeper**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything**

"**Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime.****"**

**By** **Herbert Ward**

Description

AH, AU No one knows the real Edward and the reason why he is the way he is. What is keeping him from revealing his true self? Is Bella the person who will open him up and reveal his dark past and heal his black heart? Can she be his Heart's Keeper?

Prologue

The young, bronze haired boy slept anxiously, his tiny hands balled into fists obvious to anyone that were to be watching that he was having a nightmare. And there was someone watching. The tall man crept inaudibly to the side of the young boy's bed and knelt beside him; the man smiled a sadistic smile and pulled aside the blankets.

Chapter 1

Nine Years Later

Bella's POV

"Dad where are my keys? I'm going to be late" I screamed rushing around the house searching every possible place the keys could be.

"Sweetie calm down, where was the last place you had them" My Father, Charlie Swan, called from the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes at his question. I hate when adults asked this. If I knew the last place I had them they wouldn't be lost right?

"Ch...Dad can you be a bit more helpful. I can't be late on my first day. I can't" I wailed fully aware of how pathetic I sounded.

It was my first day at my new school, Forks High. I had just moved from my home in Phoenix two weeks ago. I had lived with my Mother Renee and my Step Father Phil and now I was in the dreary, cold and miserable town of Forks. I had left on my own accord, which I know to most people sounds crazy but I knew Renee wanted to travel with Phil which he did a lot for his baseball career, although she would never say this out loud. I knew though and that's why I allowed her a way out and went to live with Charlie…in a place I detested. Although if it would mean my Mother was happy then it was worth it.

All of this reasoning was starting to sound less and less convincing as I began to anticipate my first day at my new school. I had never been the 'new kid' before so this was a totally new experience. I missed the comfortable and predictable nature of my old school in phoenix where every day was more or less the same. I sat with the same people, had the same teachers, everything predictable, and boring yes but most definitely not scary. I'm incredibly shy around new people and find it hard to talk to people who I don't know. Once I got to know someone I couldn't shut up but if I didn't know them I was prone to blushing and becoming tongue tied. So being late especially as a new kid was frightening to me as I knew it would bring even more unwanted attention on to me.

"Bella your keys are in here on the bench" My Father called out to me I could hear in his voice he was trying not to laugh.

I pushed aside the couch cushion I was searching under and sprinted into the kitchen, my foot getting tangled on the mat and my body tumbling forward. Luckily I caught myself on the door frame before the ground rearranged my face and straightened up. I looked up and saw Charlie looking at me a bit too blankly if you ask me as if this didn't surprise him at all. Which is quite sad, I think. I guess I'm a bit clumsier then your average girl but I think my father could look a little bit more concerned.

Charlie held out my keys to me and I grabbed them from his hand and stood on my tip toes and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks Dad, I better get going"

"Sure Bells, good luck I'm sure you'll do fine. Call me if you have any troubles with your truck"

Ah yes my truck, I started to get a bit more excited it was the first time I was to drive it. It was a gift from Charlie a 'welcoming home' gift as he called it. It was big, red and sturdier then a tank which for me was a very good thing because unfortunately I drove almost as badly as I walked which to anyone who has met ever me is a terrifying concept.

The drive to school was…interesting at the very least. The truck was different to any car I had driven before. For starters it didn't have power steering so I had to practically throw my whole body weight into manoeuvring it around the bends. It was also bigger so when I finally made it to school, alive which certainly was a surprise, parking it was quite the experience. The cars that were unlucky enough to be parked either side of me got off easy when I didn't touch them at all. Breathing a sigh of relief and feeling quite proud of myself I grabbed my bag and hopped out of the car into the pouring rain.

Great, I thought this is how all my school days would be rain, rain and more rain. I wasn't used to this weather in the slightest. Back home rain was so rare many people got excited when it rain even a little bit, because it was something different then the sweltering heat. Me on the other hand couldn't get enough of the heat and sun and would rather do without the rain at all if it wasn't for the small fact the planet and humans needed it to survive.

I walked slowly to the office looking around at the school as I went. It was much smaller then my old school, rather then one big building it was bunch of smaller ones. There seemed to be a lot less students at this school too all of them in raincoats and quickly heading to class. I picked up the pace eager to get out of the freezing rain and into the hopefully warm office but I should have known walking fast was a bad move as my coordination and general observation skills, which most people had learned and perfected at a young age, were not the best. I suddenly slammed into someone who although much smaller then me was surprisingly solid and fall hard on my butt.

"Oomph" The small person said as she had also fallen to the ground.

"Oh my God I am so sorry, are you ok?" Blushing profusely I tried to get up, which was quite a difficult task, as my butt was throbbing. Finally managing it I straightened up and held out my hand to the fallen girl. My face must have been bright red and I couldn't stop apologising and cursing myself in my head for being so stupid and clumsy.

"I'm ssso sorry …..Really I am…a…are you ok I didn't hurt you did I?" I stuttered embarrassing myself further.

The tiny girl let me help her to her feet.

"Its fine…it was an accident are you sure _your_ ok?" The girl asked me. I noticed how beautiful she was, not in the conventional way but she was tiny and skinny and had the most perfect doll like features I had ever seen. She was dressed very trendy and had a short pixie cut which many people would not be able to pull off but on her it was perfect. I suddenly felt very self-conscious. She did not look like someone who would want to be friends with me. I hoped not all girls in Forks looked like this.

"Yeah I'm fine" I said shyly "I should look where I'm going seriously I am so sorry"

"Stop apologising I forgive you already" the girl giggled "I'm Alice by the way, so you're the new girl?"

"Yeah…my names Bella"

"Nice to meet you Bella, I can already tell we are going to be great friends" She squealed excitedly clapping her hands together.

Who was this girl? I wondered to myself. Alice grabbed my hand and began pulling me along after her.

"So would you like me to show you around?" She continued without letting me answer. "Ok well first we should take you to the office and then once you get your timetable I can show you too your classes…ooh 

maybe we'll even have some classes together" she said excitedly. I could barely keep up with her but nevertheless I was happy to have made a friend.

"Oh and you can sit with me at lunch and….." She continued talking telling me all the plans for today it was going to be very busy but I couldn't be happier. I would hopefully make some friends and Forks wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be.

Edwards POV

Beep, beep, beep

I woke up suddenly as my alarm began blaring. Another day of monotony I thought drearily to myself. Although I didn't want to go to school or even leave my bed for that matter it was better then being asleep where I couldn't control what I thought…or remembered. I got up, went to the bathroom and got dressed same as I did every morning. Although I detested the predictability of my life it was preferable to the unpredictable nature of my childhood and I knew which one I preferred.

"Edward are you awake? You're going to be late" My mother Esme called through the door.

"Yeah I'll be down in a sec" I called back. Esme was my adopted mother she and her husband Carlisle had adopted me, my brother Emmett and my sister Alice. All our biological parents had either died or in my case been…unsuitable to care for us. I was not as close to Esme and definitely not to Carlisle as Emmett and Alice were to them. But that wasn't very unusual I wasn't close to anyone. I had some friends but it was all an act. No one knew the real me and to be honest with you no one would want to.

Bella's POV

Alice had been a saviour all day I could also tell we were going to be great friends. I was starting to open up to her more as it was almost impossible to feel tongue tied around her and my shyness was going away. I felt like I had known her for years, her enthusiasm and energy was irresistible and contagious I almost felt like squealing excitedly just like her when I found out we had three classes together but thankfully I contained myself because that would be embarrassing. Alice doing it was cute but me…not so much.

We were on our way to our first class together, English. She was talking a mile a minute about her family, her two brothers one in our year named Edward and one in the year above named Emmett, and her best friend Rose, who was also going out with Emmett, and her boyfriend Jasper who was also Rose's brother. I was trying to keep up but it was getting a bit confusing.

"I know" Alice laughed seeing my face. "It's a bit complicated, but there mostly all great, they'll love you" she hugged me excitedly.

"I can't wait for you to meet them" she clapped her hands together

"Yeah…can't wait" I said already beginning to worry that they wouldn't like me I also wondered what she mean by mostly all great.

In my first two classes of the day everyone had stared at me. One of the teachers had made me stand in front of the class which had been one of the single most embarrassing moments of my life as I blushed and stammered. When I was finally able to sit down I was able to calm down and listen to the rest of the lesson. One guy had talked to me he was cute with spiky blonde hair and he said his name was Mike Newton. He was a tad too friendly and started to make me feel a bit awkward; I wasn't really used to that kind of attention from boys. Thankfully Alice had saved me and told me how Mike was a big flirt and was quite arrogant.

Alice and I finally arrived at our English class and took our seats. The class was mostly boring just going over a reading list with books I had mostly already read. Alice and I passed notes throughout the lesson as she told me about some of the students in the class. She pointed out two girls one, with curly brown hair and the other with straight blonde hair both of them were dressed in extremely short skirts. She wrote "_The brunette is Jessica and the blonde is Lauren and there the sluttiest, bitchiest girls in school" _I giggled quietly to myself I believed it, first of all because of the skirts and secondly because they were throwing papers and erasers at a quiet looking girl in the front row who looked like she was about to cry.

"_I see what you mean" _I wrote back quickly

"_See the pretty blonde over near the wall?" _she wrote back. I looked over and saw the most beautiful girl I had seen that wasn't on the TV or in a magazine. She had long silky blonde hair and a statuesque body that wouldn't have been out of place in a bikini commercial.

"_Yeah" _I wrote, a small mean part of me hoping she was also a bitch.

"_That's Rose my best friend" _Alice replied making me feel instantly guilty that I had been thinking that Rose was a bitch.

The class ended and everyone gathered up their books and began filing out of the room.

"Come on Bella I want you to meet Rose" Alice said eagerly. I began to feel the ever familiar nervousness again. Alice pulled me over to Rose who was packing up her books and putting them into her bag.

"Rose there's someone I want you to meet" Alice pulled on my arm bringing me in front of her.

"This is Bella she's my new friend" Rose looked up at me her face blank and her eyes slowly looked me up and down. I blushed instantly frightened of what she thought of me.

Rose suddenly broke into a smile her face, which I didn't think was possible, becoming even more beautiful.

"Nice to meet you… Bella where are you from?"

"Phoenix" I whispered softly

She began asking me questions about Phoenix and my family all the way to lunch and just as with Alice I started to feel more and more comfortable with Rose and began to talk more and more freely.

Edwards POV

School is like my hell.

All these fake people walking around lying to each other and bitching about each other it was a joke. I couldn't wait till I was out of this place forever. I paid attention in my classes never allowing my mind to wander…it could never wander I could never allow myself to lose control not when I was around people. The only place I lost control was in my dreams when there was no one around to hear me scream.

In history class when I was trying to pay attention to what the teacher was teaching us about World War I was suddenly passed a note. I looked around wondering where it had come from when I spotted Lauren Mallory staring at me. When I made eye contact with her she winked suggestively. It made me feel sick I looked down at the note wondering if I should just throw it away. I knew what it was going to say for some unfathomable reason girls at this school found me attractive I couldn't see why that could possibly be. When ever I looked in the mirror all I ever felt was disgust and sick to my stomach. I opened the note and looked at what it said.

In barely legible writing it said "_Edward I think you are hot. Let's go out Friday night we'll do what ever you want and I mean WHATEVER you want". _I felt even sicker. I scrunched up the note and looked at Lauren and shook my headshe looked disappointed. I don't know why its not the first time I had turned her down. I knew there were rumours flying around about why I didn't date anyone, some even saying I was gay but to be honest I didn't give a fuck.

Bella's POV

I walked into the cafeteria thankful that I didn't have to sit by myself. Rose, Alice and I got our lunches and I followed them to a big table near the far wall.

"So Bella are you excited to meet our boyfriends?" Rose asked me as we sat down

"Yeah…" I said which even to me sounded unconvincing

They both laughed.

"Whoa don't get too excited there Bella" Alice said sarcastically still laughing

"No, its just I'm nervous I'm always like that when I first meet people" I replied quickly

"Oh don't worry. They'll love you and their very nice…but if there not I'll beat em up" Alice said dramatically waving her little fist in the air

Rose and I both cracked up laughing

"What are you too laughing at? I will! I'm stronger than I look!" She said to us indignantly

"Um Alice have you seen the size of Emmett? He won't even feel it" Rose replied still laughing

"I guess so…but it doesn't even matter because it won't come to that because Emmett and Jasper are going to love you!" Alice replied all excited again.

"If you say so" I replied doubtfully "Hey how come your other brother doesn't sit with you?" I asked curiously

It seemed as though Alice and Rose froze for a moment but I must have been imagining things because it was over as quick as it began.

"Oh um Edward has his own friends…you know he doesn't like sitting with his family and all that" Alice said suddenly serious

I noticed Rose looked a bit angry but I couldn't think of a possible reason for that unless she didn't like Edward for some reason.

"Oh ok" I wanted to ask more questions about Edward but I thought that may be a bit rude. So I dropped it. I looked around the cafeteria when I say two guys walking our way. One was massive, not as in fat but muscularly, with curly brown hair and the other was tall and lanky with blonde hair. They were both good looking and must have been Emmett and Jasper. They arrived at the table and took there seats, Alice squealed and hugged Jasper and started kissing him I looked away feeling a bit awkward only to meet Rose and Emmett doing the same thing. Not knowing where too look I just sat there for a moment waiting for them to …finish.

Finally coming up for air Alice turned to me.

"Opps sorry Bella…Jazz, Emmett I would like you to meet Bella my new friend" she said dramatically bouncing up and down in her seat unable to contain her excitement. She reminded me of a little kid at Christmas.

Both guys looked at me and smiled.

"Nice to meet you Bella" Emmett said shaking my hand and grinning at me. He didn't seem as scary as I first thought he would be.

"You too" I replied smiling shyly

Jasper also shook my hand and asked me questions about Phoenix he seemed quieter then Emmett but just as nice.

We all ate our lunches chatting the whole time. I had never felt this comfortable with new people before but I felt perfectly at home and knew I would be great friends with all of them. I was listening to Alice and Rose discussing a party that was coming up in the next few weeks when I saw him.

He walked into the cafeteria and joined the end of the small lunch line. He looked like an angel. The most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life. His hair was messy but it looked perfect, it was the most unusual bronze colour I had ever seen. He wasn't too muscular or too skinny and his eyes where the most beautiful deep green colour, but they looked sad. I frowned it was a crime the angel shouldn't be sad I had a strange urge to go and comfort him but luckily I controlled myself. I must have been staring rather intently because Alice nudged my hand and asked me what I was staring at. I looked around at our table Emmett, Jasper and Rose were in deep conversation and didn't seem to be listening to us. I leaned in and whispered to Alice.

"Who's that guy over there" I nodded towards the angel

"Who?" Alice asked looking over

"The one with the bronze hair"

She seemed to freeze again.

"Oh…um…that's my…my other brother Edward" she said nervously

"Oh"

"Why do you ask?" she asked staring at me intently

Why? Oh because he's the hottest, most gorgeous guy I have ever seen and I want to jump on him and do naughty things? As if I was going to say that to his sister. I also didn't understand the way she was acting weird it was as if she didn't want to tell me something about him.

"Oh, no reason… I…ah just thought he looked a bit familiar" I stammered

"Oh ok" She replied sounding relieved

He must be a jerk or a player or both maybe that's why she wouldn't talk about him. But it was hard for me to believe that. Oh well as if I would have a chance with someone who looked like that he probably had a beautiful girlfriend and would never look twice at me.

I peeked back over at him when I jumped he was staring straight at me, he had a confused look on his face as well as the ancient sadness which did not belong in his beautiful eyes. He stared at me for a moment longer and then turned around leaving his food and seemed to bolt from the room. I looked around no one seemed to have noticed. What had just happened?


	2. Chapter 2

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything**

**AN: Hey, thanks alot to those who read the first chapter and who reviewed i appreciate it. I hope you like the next chapter **

Chapter 2

Edward's POV

It was lunch time. I followed the crowd to the cafeteria feeling no enthusiasm for lunch I dawdled behind not wanting to be caught up in the long lines. I visited the bathroom and put some books in my locker. At lunch I usually sat with Mike Newton and his group of friends or if I couldn't take their mindless, immature chatter I sat in my Volvo and listened to music. Music was the one thing in life that I truly loved and when I played it I was my true self. It felt like a sitting in the car kind of day so I planned on getting my food and heading out to my car. I joined the line which was thankfully small and tried to tune out the chatter around me. The line moved quickly and I grabbed some lunch and put it on my tray. Suddenly I felt a weird feeling as though I was being watched I turned around slowly my eyes drawn to the table where my siblings and their partners sat.

There was another girl sitting with them who I had never seen before. This must be that new girl Mike was talking about in rather graphic detail. I was about to turn back around when suddenly she looked at me. She had the biggest, deepest brown eyes I had ever seen. I couldn't look away, what was happening? I felt a weird feeling in my stomach and felt even more confused. I still couldn't look away. I had to get out of here I ripped my eyes from hers and ran out the door not bothering with my lunch. I ran to my car and turned on my music and drove home. I couldn't get those eyes out of my mind. What had just happened?

Bella's POV

The rest of the day passed by in a blur all I could think about was what had happened. I couldn't get his sad, green eyes out of my mind. What could have possibly caused him to react the way he did? No one had ever run out of the room just from looking at me before. It kind of stung.

Was I that repulsive that he couldn't be in the same room as me? I thought irrationally. No maybe something else was upsetting him. Maybe he had, had a fight with his girlfriend, his most likely…beautiful girlfriend. I didn't even know him but it hurt to think of him with someone else…I knew how stupid I sounded and how this…infatuation destined me for hurt. There was no way he would ever look at me twice. Well he had been staring…I let a bit of hope enter my heart but I quickly pushed it away…I was being stupid.

I drove home tired and miserable after my first day. I t had been world's different then anything I had ever anticipated. Better, because I had made four wonderful friends, bad because of Edward's reaction to me… but it also intrigued me. I couldn't wait for tomorrow.

Edward's POV

I drove home shaking the whole time.

I couldn't make sense of what had just happened. It was because she was new I told myself over and over again it wasn't because I found her…attractive.

"No" I said out loud and hit the steering wheel angrily. That was insane. I didn't feel that way about people…I couldn't.

I shook my head trying to get her eyes out of my mind. And her face and her body…

I pulled up at my house, slammed the Volvo's door and walked inside. I walked into the kitchen where Carlisle was sitting at the table doing some work. He looked up in surprise.

"Edward, what are you doing home so early?"

I immediately froze up. Even after six years with him I still wasn't comfortable around him. I knew it was irrational, he would never hurt me. My mind believed that a hundred percent but my body didn't listen. It instinctively tried to protect itself.

"Felt sick" I replied shortly and headed for the stairs. I heard him sigh behind me. I wondered if he regretted adopting me. I know I would if I was him.

I walked into the upstairs lounge room where we kept the piano. I was the only one in the family who played. I sat down and began playing. Usually it calmed me and occupied my mind so I wouldn't have to think about anything else but the notes and the music. Today it was different I still couldn't get her face out of my mind. Frustrated I stopped playing and buried my head in my hands. I couldn't handle this. One thing I was sure of was that I wasn't going to school tomorrow.

Carlisle's POV

I watched Edwards back as he retreated up the stairs. It was nothing new; he had always been distant with me. When Esme and I had first adopted him we had thought he was just shy and considering what we had heard about his parents it was expected he would have some aversions towards new people. As time passed he didn't seem to be getting better and we grew more and more concerned so I suggested therapy. After his first session we saw the first real emotion expressed by Edward. He lost it and refused point blank to ever go back. Esme and I had thought of this as a breakthrough, he was actually showing us he felt something so we had agreed. Now I was not so sure we had made the right decision.

Bella's POV

I had an incredibly restless night of sleep I tossed and turned and when I finally feel asleep I dreamt of Edward. I didn't understand I had never felt this way before. Sure I had, had crushes before but I had never felt obsessive like this. And with the other crushes I had at least spoken to them before.

"Are you ok Bells" Charlie asked breaking me out of my Edward daydream while we ate breakfast.

"Huh? Oh yeah fine why?"

"You look distracted that's all"

"No…ha-ha…I'm fine just tired I didn't sleep very well" I said which was true

"Oh, well make sure you have an early night tonight" Charlie replied looking concerned

"Sure" I got up a kissed his cheek "Well I better get going"

"Ok, see you later honey"

I arrived at school actually exited rather then nervous. I tried to convince myself that I was excited to see my new friends rather then to see Edward.

I was walking towards my locker when suddenly something small came running at me and threw their arms around me. Startled, a second later I realised it was Alice.

"Oh my God, Bella it's so good to see you. How are you?" she said breathlessly

I laughed she was so excitable. If she could get so excited by just seeing me I didn't know if I wanted to be around her if something really exciting happened

"I'm good Alice how about you?"

"Good, good" she said waving her hand impatiently. "So what are we doing tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

"Duh, its Friday night we have to do something"

"I don't know. Whatever you want to do" I said warily

"I know, I know come over to my house and we can have a girls night. You, me and Rose some good movies and pizza" she said jumping up and down.

I laughed it did sound like fun

"Ok sounds good" I said excited I had never had a 'girls night' before.

Edward's POV

I left at the normal time I usually left for school so Esme didn't become suspicious. I felt like a coward running away from my problems. Well at least this wasn't unprecedented it was what I did.

I drove to the music store which was a place which always relaxes me. I looked through the stores wide selection of albums trying to occupy my mind and not think about what had happened the day before.

Bella's POV

My mood dropped throughout the day when I didn't so much as catch a glimpse of Edward. I kept hoping I would see him until it was confirmed he was absent. Apparently he was in my history class which was straight after lunch. I heard Mr Allen asking Mike if he knew where Edward was since he had also missed the class the day before. This gave me something to think about. I knew Edward had strangely ran out of the cafeteria but I didn't know he had also left school. It concerned me how much I was thinking about him and how much I cared.

I really had to get over this it wasnt healthy.

Alice was waiting for me by my truck after school ended.

"Bella are you excited about tonight?" she asked when i walked up to her

"Yeah it should be fun. What time do you want me there?"

"Anytime after six should be fine. Oh my God i'm so excited. You'll get to meet my parents i've been talking about you to them non stop"

I started to feel nervous i hoped they would like me.

"Anyway i got to go. i'll see you tonight" she said and kissed my cheek

"Bye"

Even though i was tired i was really excited about the 'girls night'. Hopefully it would get my mind off of Edward. Even though it was at his house i doubted he would be there it was a Friday night after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything**

**Thanks for the reviews**

Chapter 3

Bella's POV

Alice ended up picking me up at six to go to her house as she said finding her house was hard and it would be easier if she just picked me up. When she beeped her horn I looked out the window and was shocked by the car she was driving. It was a shiny, expensive Porsche. Wow I couldn't believe it I knew her family must be well off considering the clothes she wore but I never expected they were _that_ rich... especially living in Forks.

I walked outside and jumped in the car.

"Bella" Alice squealed and hugged me

"Hey…I like your car"

"Thanks it's new" she said as though she was talking about a new jacket

"So are you excited?" she asked starting the car.

"Yeah it should be good."

After about 15 minutes we turned into a driveway that I would have driven straight passed if i was driving. The driveway went for awhile until Alice pulled up next to a house which could be only described as a mansion. I was right Alice's parents must be incredibly rich.

"So Rose should be here soon and then we'll order the pizzas" Alice told me as we walked up the front steps

"Ok" I replied as we walked into the kitchen. I stoped suddenly when I spotted a tall, beautiful, blonde man who looked like a model.

"Hey Dad" Alice said excitedly "This is my friend Bella I was talking about"

Oh my God I was just thinking how hot her father was. How embarrassing.

"Hi Bella nice to meet you"

"y…you too Mr Cullen" I stammered

"Please call me Carlisle" he said pleasantly smiling at me

"Ok Carlisle" I smiled back. He seemed nice

We chatted to Carlisle for a couple of minutes where he asked me about my father and about Phoenix.

While we were talking a beautiful woman walked in who I was sure was Alice's mother.

"Mum this is Bella" Alice said walking over to her

"Oh hi Bella. Alice hasn't been able to stop taking about you since she met you yesterday"

I blushed I wasn't used to all this attention

"Hi nice to meet you" I replied quietly

"Well Alice, your Mum and I are leaving now for dinner. We trust you will be well behaved?"

"Of course Daddy don't be silly" Alice replied rolling her eyes.

"Well Emmett's out with Jasper and his friends but Edward will be around so see if he wants any dinner ok Alice" Carlisle said seriously looking at Alice with something in his eyes which I didn't understand

But I didn't think about it much all I could think of was crap Edward was home I hoped I didn't do anything embarrassing.

"Ok Dad" Alice said a bit reluctantly

Hmm I wondered what was up with that.

Rose arrived just after her parents left so I didn't get a chance to ask Alice about it.

"So what pizzas do you want to order? I'm starving" Rose said soon after they she had arrived.

We decided on what pizzas to order and they arrived quickly.

"So Bella what do you think of Forks so far?" Rose asked me as sat around the kitchen table eating the pizza.

"Its better then I thought it would be" I said honestly "And I'm really happy to have met you two"

"Aw Bella we feel the same way" Alice said patting my hand

I laughed.

"So seen any boys you like" Alice asked

Yeah your brother I imagined saying

"No not yet" I said warily.

We were talking and eating when suddenly Edward walked through the door. We all stopped talking. He stood there for a moment looking at me with what looked like horror on his face.

After a moment Alice broke the silence

"Bella this is my brother Edward, Edward this is my new friend Bella"

"Hey" I said nervously after he didn't respond. I couldn't help but to stare into his beautiful eyes.

He looked down not meeting my eyes and nodded so tiny I could barley see his head move.

I heard Alice sigh.

"There's some pizza here Edward. Help yourself" she said passing him a plate

He nodded again just as he had before and took the plate. I reached for my drink just as he was reaching for some pizza. Our arms brushed against each other. And he jumped away from me as though in revulsion. I looked up at him and saw a look of…anger on his face. What was wrong with him it was just my arm. I looked down embarrassed and starting to feel angry myself.

"Edward. What are you doing?" Alice asked looking at him in frustration

"Nothing…sorry" he said but I wasn't listening all I could think about was why he was being so rude. He didn't say anything else and hastily left the room.

Edward's POV

I had left the music store, after I knew my parents would have left for work, and I came back home. I spent the day playing piano and finishing an English essay which was so easy I could have done it in my sleep.

I was starting to feel hungry. I knew Carlisle and Esme were going out to dinner and I doubted Alice and Emmett were home so I would have to get my own dinner. This suited me just fine.

As I was walking down to the kitchen I could hear voices. I really didn't want to have to make small talk with Alice's friends but I was really hungry so I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. As I walked in the voices stopped.

Oh crap I thought to myself. How ironic I had spent the whole day trying to avoid the new girl and there she was… in my house.

She was sitting at the kitchen table with Alice and Rose all of them eating pizza and looking happy. They all looked at me as I walked into the room. My hands started to sweat as I looked into her deep eyes. Once again I felt a desire to run from the room. What was going on? This was so far out of my depth.

Alice looked up at me warily as though she was wondering what I was going to do. Rose just had her usual bitch face on that she always had when she looked at me but the other girl, whose name I still didn't know, had a look which I couldn't decipher.

After a slightly awkward pause Alice cleared her throat and looked towards the girl.

"Bella this is my brother Edward, Edward this is my new friend Bella"

So her name was Bella.

"Hey" Bella replied quietly looking at me with the same unknown look.

I nodded briefly at her, not meeting her eyes, knowing what they did to me.

Alice sighed.

"There's some pizza here Edward. Help your self" she said passing me a plate

I nodded again and took the plate. I walked around the table reaching over to grab a couple of slices I had to reach around Bella to get them. As I did she moved to pick up her drink and her arm brushed against mine. I jumped at the unexpected contact nearly dropping my plate. She looked at me surprised. My face must have shown my frustration because she looked away quickly and started to blush.

"Edward. What are you doing?" Alice asked frustrated

"Nothing…sorry" I wanted to explain that she had just surprised me. But Alice and Rose were looking at me furiously so I decided to drop it and leave before I made an even bigger mess of things.

I walked quickly out of the room an unfamiliar burning sensation on my face.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything**

Chapter 4

Bella's POV

I just stared at the table after Edward had left the room. I felt my eyes fill up with traitor tears. Stupid, stupid I said to myself I shouldn't have started to have feelings for him when I _knew_ he couldn't possibly return them.

Alice grabbed my arm and said to me gently "I'm sorry Bella. H…he has some…problems don't take it personally please".

This intrigued me. What possible problems could this beautiful boy have?

"What do you mean?"

"Well" she said hesitating for a moment "he..."

"He's a jerk" Rosalie interrupted suddenly. I looked up at her surprised she looked murderously angry

"Rose" Alice said loudly "No Bella he's not he's just…hard to get to know…once you start to break through his barriers he closes them right back up again" She said sadly

"Alice you have to stop defending him…look at the way he treats you and your whole family he takes you all for granted and doesn't appreciate anything your parents have done for him" Rose said getting angrier by the second. "If it wasn't for them he would be stuck in some orphanage somewhere because everyone knows no other family would have adopted him"

Shocked I couldn't believe what Rose was saying. Neither could Alice apparently because I saw the first look of anger on her face. And if I was Rose I would have been scared for my life

"Rose" she said quietly clenching her fists "I know you're my best friend but you have no right to say that about him. No matter what he does he's still my brother and I love him…so don't you dare"

Rose remained silent. I was completely confused I had to find out what was going on. I looked at Alice who was fuming silently. Although I was slightly afraid for my life I decided to ask her.

"Alice" I said quietly and she looked up at me "I don't understand"

She sighed "I know…I'm sorry… well you know both my brothers and I were adopted" I nodded "Well Emmett and I are biological siblings. We had great parents but they both died in a car accident when I was 8" she said sadly

"Oh Alice I'm so sorry" I said sympathetically

She smiled weakly "Thanks Bella…we didn't have any other family so we went to an orphanage but were lucky enough to be adopted by Carlisle and Esme soon after"

"So what happened with Edward" I asked curiously

"He…wasn't lucky enough to have good parents like Emmett and I…he's never talked about it but his case worker told Mum and Dad what she knew. Apparently they were both drug addicts who could barely look after him so they had to leave him with his grandfather a lot. Anyway when he was 8 years old his father committed suicide and his mother couldn't handle everything so she left him"

She looked at the table sadly "He was in an orphanage for about a year until Carlisle and Esme adopted him…we where all quiet and shy when we were first adopted. In mine and Emmett's case because we wanted Mum and Dad to like us…but with Edward he stayed withdrawn never talking about his parents or his home before he was adopted. He comes across often as rude or abrasive" she looked at Rosalie "But I think he's just got issues with other people which I think is understandable after what happened to his parents"

I nodded not knowing what to say.

We all sat in silence for a couple of minutes until Rose broke the silence "Alice…I'm sorry if I what I said upset you but I hate it when he does things like that because I know it hurts you when he doesn't open up to you just as it hurts Emmett"

"I know Rose" Alice said her face softening "But I know he's a decent person under all his facades and I'm not going to give up on him"

Neither was I. I thought to myself

Edward's POV

I walked quickly towards the stairs suddenly losing my appetite. I put the plate down on the table and sat on the bottom stair and put my head in my hands. I knew I had been rude but what confused me was why I felt so bad about it. Normally it wouldn't affect me at all. Of course I didn't like being mean to people but I felt as though I was doing the person a favour…like I was letting them know it wouldn't be good for them to get to know me. But I didn't want Bella to feel that way and that scared the shit out of me.

I could hear their voices coming from the kitchen. Oh God I didn't want to hear what they were telling Bella about me.

I heard Roses' raised voice saying I was a jerk. Well who could argue with that? I wasn't surprised she had never liked me. I was surprised to hear Alice defending me.

"No Bella" she said "he's not he's just…hard to get to know…once you start to break through his barriers he closes them right back up again" she sounded sad. She had always tried to get me to talk more ever since we were kids.

Every time she tried to coax me to tell her about my childhood I always imagined telling her the truth. And the resulting reaction. But I would never do that to her.

"Alice you have to stop defending him…look at the way he treats you and your whole family he takes you all for granted and doesn't appreciate anything your parents have done for him" Rose said with a venomous anger. "If it wasn't for them he would be stuck in some orphanage somewhere because everyone knows no other family would have adopted him"

I felt even sadder I didn't want them to think I was ungrateful because I was eternally so. I just didn't want to burden them with my past

I once again heard Alice defending me saying how Rose didn't have the right to say that about her brother. I quietly headed upstairs having heard enough and went into my room.

I lay down on my bed breathing heavily. I couldn't handle what was happening to me. This thing I felt for Bella was insane and…impossible. Ah I thought angrily to myself what did I think was going to happen? For us to fall in love and live happily ever after? I almost laughed, living happily ever after was not an option for me and I couldn't deny her hers.

Wait what was, I thinking I didn't even know if she felt anything for me. This was ridiculous. As I was thinking my eyes began to droop and I fell fast asleep thinking about Bella.

Bella's POV

Although the mood of the 'girls night' was slightly… less happy after the discussion about Edward. Alice was determined we still have fun. After dinner we moved to the lounge room to watch movies

"Are you serious" Alice asked both her and Rose looking at me with incredulous expressions on their faces.

"Yes" I said nervously why was it such a big deal?

"You have never seen Clueless before? How is that even possible it was only the best movie of the 90's" Rose looked at me so dumbfounded as though she expected me to suddenly tell her I was lying.

I didn't know what to say. But Alice just jumped up grabbing the movie and putting it in the DVD player.

"You'll love it" she said patting me on the arm

And I did. The clothes were a bit dated but I knew it would be a movie I could watch over and over again without getting tired of it.

We watched a few more movies when Alice asked if I wanted to stay the night as it was getting late. I agreed and rang Charlie to tell him I wasn't coming home. Rose left as she said she had to work in the morning.

At around 1 o'clock we made our way to bed. When I walked into Alice's room I was amazed at her room it was huge. Her bed looked about big enough for three people and her walk in wardrobe looked bigger than my room at home.

I was so tired that as soon as my head hit my pillows I was asleep. It felt like I had only been asleep for a moment when I heard screaming coming from down the hall. Shocked I sat straight up.

"Alice" I whispered trying to shake her awake but she didn't wake up. She just rolled over. I got up a walked to the door trying to listen harder.

It sounded like a male voice incoherently yelling out. It sounded like "Nooo, No". Scared I walked slowly out towards the sound. It stopped all of sudden. It had seemed to be coming from the open door at the end of the hall I walked towards it when suddenly a large shape walked out almost bumping straight into me.

"Oh" I said startled jumping back

The moonlight from the window shined onto the shapes face and I could see that it was Edward and he was glaring at me.

Edward's POV

I was sleeping, but I wasn't relaxed I felt the usual nervous anxiousness that I always did in that place. I jumped awake when I felt the cool air touch my recently exposed skin. The blankets had been thrown off of me. Tears ran down my cheeks as I looked up into his face. His eyes just like mine. He smiled at me but there was no love there. Not the love he was supposed to feel for me.

"No, No please…please don't…please…I'll do anything just don't do that to me" I pleaded no hope in my voice I knew it wouldn't stop him.

"Eddie be a good boy...you know you'll like it" he said and I felt like I was going to vomit.

"Nooo, no" I yelled squirming away trying to stop him from touching me.

As I yelled in my dreams I felt the words leave my lips as I jolted awake. I jumped up sweat pouring down my face. I put my face in my hands gripping my hair. I tried to pull myself together when I looked up realising my mistake I had left my door open. I always closed it to prevent anyone hearing me when I had nightmare.

Shit, shit I thought to myself jumping out of bed heading towards the door. Praying no one had heard me. I decided to go get a drink of water so I made my way out of my room. I was horrified when I was leaving to almost bump into something small. The shape jumped backwards and I realised it was Bella. Had she heard me? I glared at her angry that she might have heard me yelling out.

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	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Stephenie meyer owns everything**

Bella's POV

I looked down hiding away from his glaring face. Neither of us said anything. After a moment I looked up afraid of what I would see.

I was surprised to see he didn't look angry anymore he was looking at me, but not at my face just at my body. Shocked I looked down embarrassed to see I was just wearing a small tank top and just my underwear which is what I usually slept in. Blushing I crossed my arms trying to hide as much of myself as I could.

"Are you ok?" I asked hoping to distract him and also curious of the yelling I heard. He looked up again with a bit of the pissed off look on his face again.

"Why?" he asked shortly but his voice was still velvety and the most beautiful sound I had ever heard

"Um...I…I heard yelling I thought something was wrong" I stammered nervously

He raked his fingers through his hair and a look passed by his eyes that I didn't understand. Vulnerability?

"I'm fine" He said angrily."It's none of your business"

Oh my God maybe Rose was right that he was a jerk.

"Well I'm sorry but I heard yelling and you could have been getting murdered and I think that would have been my business" I knew I wasn't making sense but he was making me angry. I started to turn around embarrassed and angry.

"I'm sorry" I heard him whisper

I turned around surprised

He was looking at the floor and I saw an ancient sadness in eyes that didn't belong on his angel face.

"I just had a… nightmare…and I guess I was embarrassed…sorry If I was rude" He said not looking up.

"It's ok" I whispered back

He nodded, turned around, walked back into his room and closed the door.

Stunned I walked slowly back to Alice's room. I couldn't fall back to sleep I couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened.

Edward's POV

I must have been glaring at Bella because she looked down and I could see she was blushing. I felt bad I wasn't angry at her I was furious at myself for leaving the door open. I looked at her and noticed what she was wearing. My breathing hitched she was only wearing a pair of underwear and a tiny tank top. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her long shapely legs and her perfect flat stomach that was peeking out from where her tank top rid up. I looked up higher and saw that she wasn't wearing a bra under her top. I felt my pants tighten. I had never noticed a girl like this before.

She suddenly crossed her arms across her chest. Oh fuck she had seen me looking. I looked up quickly hoping she didn't think I was a perve.

"Are you ok?" she asked me.

So she had heard something my anger returned. How could I have been so reckless?

"Why" I asked hoping she didn't notice my angry tone

"Um...I…I heard yelling I thought something was wrong" she stuttered was she nervous?

I nervously pushed back my hair wondering what I should say.

"I'm fine" I replied angrily."It's none of your business" I knew I was being an asshole but I couldn't tell her what had happened.

"Well I'm sorry but I heard yelling and someone could have been getting murdered and I think that would have been my business" I almost chuckled what could have she done if I was being murdered?

She turned around and began to walk away. Had I upset her?

"I'm sorry" I whispered surprising myself.

She turned around with a shocked look on her face. She must be surprised to see me not being rude.

I looked at the floor. I decided to tell her some of the truth.

"I just had a… nightmare…and I guess I was embarrassed…sorry If I was rude" I said unable to look at her.

"It's ok" she whispered back.

I nodded and walked back into my room I couldn't handle that anymore I made sure to close the door behind me.

There was no way I was getting back to sleep tonight. I was still shocked by the intensity of my feelings for Bella I had no idea what to do. When I did finally fall asleep for the first time I didn't have my nightmares I dreamed only of Bella

Bella's POV

I didn't fall asleep for many hours after talking to Edward. When I had finally fallen asleep it didn't feel like long until I was being shaken awake by Alice. She insisted we go shopping as my clothes according to her were 'unacceptable' and 'all wrong'. Still sleepy and after that slightly offended I told her to go away. But just like a little kid she jumped up and down on the bed until I eventually got up.

A part of me wanted to see Edward but another part was scared about what would happen. Although, it turned out, not to be a problem because there was no sign of him. He was probably lucky enough to be still sleeping.

"Bella, what about this dress?" I looked up snapping out of my Edward daydream and looked at the dress Alice was holding out. It was a blue and strapless and would come to just above my knees.

"Yeah it's pretty but I don't know where I would wear it" I answered

She waved her hands in annoyance. "You'll have plenty of places to wear it. Oh Mike Newtons having a part in a couple of weeks you could wear it then" she said getting excited

She grabbed my arm a pulled me towards the changing rooms. "Come on! try it on I know it'll be perfect"

I sighed it was no use arguing with her.

She was right though it did look pretty good. I ended up buying it, some shoes to go with it and a couple of tops. Alice could tell I was distracted and she kept asking what was wrong. I briefly considered telling her about Edward and my conversation last night but I decided not to. It was just something between Edward and me.

Edwards POV

The next morning I slept in. something I don't remember ever doing. It was the most peaceful sleep I ever remember having since I was a little kid…before everything happened. When I got out of bed I realised no one was home. For which I was thankful especially that Bella wasn't still there because I had no idea what to say to her. I knew I had feelings for her but I also knew I had to keep them to myself and not let anything happen especially for her sake.

Bella's POV

When I woke up on Monday I felt excited. Excited about seeing Edward because there was something about him that, even though he had been rude to me more times then he had been nice, I had to know what that thing was that drew me to him and produced these intense feelings that I never knew existed.

I didn't see him all morning. I wondered if he hadn't shown up again. I was so distracted looking around trying to catch a glimpse of him that Alice began to get annoyed at me.

"BELLA" she yelled furiously. I jumped at her tone and looked towards her. We were in the cafeteria eating lunch and both Alice and Rose where looking at me.

"What?" confused by her angry expression

"I've been trying to talk to you for the last five minutes and I would appreciate if you would answer me" she said slamming her palm on the table.

"I'm sorry; I just have a lot on my mind…you know catching up with school and all that. I'm just a little distracted" I lied quickly

Her face softened a little bit "Ok well now listen" she started to tell me more about Mike Newtons party but then I wasn't listening again. Edward had just walked through the door and he looked as perfect as always. Was it just my imagination or did his eyes flick to me when he walked in? I wasn't sure it had happened so quickly.

"Bella" Both Alice and Rose yelled this time

Edward's POV

I had managed to avoid Bella all day. Although I knew I would see her in the cafeteria I was determined not to so much as glance at her. But I couldn't help it and by traitor eyes flickered towards her. And she was staring straight back at me. Did that mean she felt the same way? No she was probably looking at something else. I was being stupid she couldn't possibly like me after how rude I had been to her.

After I had got my lunch I sat down at my usual table with Mike Newton and his friends. I nodded hello as I sat down and I tried to not listen to their mindless chatter about Mike's party that was coming up soon.

I walked into my history class which was straight after lunch. I was shocked to see that Bella was in this class she was sitting near the front and hadn't seen me yet. I slipped into the desk that was furthest at the back and tried to look at her.

Mr Allen walked into the room and said we would be getting an assignment. The entire class groaned. He ignored them and started to tell us about the task. I drew on my notebook not really paying attention until he said we would be working in pairs. This was quite common in this class and because there were an odd number of students I usually was able to work by myself. Well there were an odd number of students until…

"Mr Cullen" Mr Allen said suddenly "Can you please work with Ms Swan?"

Bella turned around and looked at me uncertainly

I gulped. Oh crap.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everthing**

**Thankyou for the reviews i hope you like this chapter!!**

Chapter 6

Bella's POV

"Mr Cullen" Mr Allen said suddenly "Can you please work with Ms Swan?" uncertain of what Edward's reaction was going to be like I turned around to see how he was taking it.

He looked shocked but thankfully not angry. Mr Allen asked us to go sit with our partners and to start talking about our assignment.

I grabbed my bag and books and walked slowly to the back of the room where Edward was sitting. He didn't look up he just continued to draw in his notebook. I sighed I really hoped he would at least talk to me.

I sat down and he still didn't look up.

"Hey" I tried to say it confidently but my voice betrayed me and it came out as a timid squeak.

Finally he looked up. His beautiful eyes gazed into mine, stunning me briefly

"Hey" his voice was just a whisper but as beautiful as ever. I just stared into his eyes for a moment until he looked away again. He seemed to take a deep breath.

After remembering how to think and speak again I once again broke the silence.

"So…" I started. Wow brilliant. I had not idea what to say I don't think I had ever met someone who talked less then me. He looked up at me again.

"So?" he replied.

"Um…well we better get started" I said looking away from his eyes not wanting to be dazzled again. I took out the assignment sheet. It was a report on World War One it looked simple enough but part of the requirement was all parts had to be completed together. We couldn't just do half each. Now that was going to be a problem especially if we couldn't even talk to each other.

I was surprised when Edward broke the silence this time "So…" he said just like I had earlier.

I smiled "So?"

He looked at me again. His eyes didn't look as sad as usual, they even had a hint of amusement to them.

"Well, we have to work out where were going to work on this" he pointed at the assignment sheet.

I contemplated having to spend copious amounts of time alone with him. Although making conversation was painful and he made me exceptionally nervous there was just something about him that made me feel as though, me being with him was right and how it was supposed to be.

"Well" I said uncertainly "We can go to my house or yours if you'd prefer"

He seemed to contemplate this "Yours would probably be better…less people so we will get more work done…it's just you and your father right?"

"Yeah" I replied shocked that he knew anything about me.

"Ok" the bell rang and everyone began to pack up there books "So when do you want to start?"

"Um…after school today would be fine"

"Ok I'll meet you there"

After we packed up our stuff we walked towards the door. He stopped and allowed me to walk through first. I smiled at him as I began to walk past. And then I saw something that made my heart stop. He smiled.

It was the most breathtakingly beautiful thing I had ever seen. It made his impossibly beautiful face even more beautiful which I would never have thought possible. It was only for a moment but it made me want to keep making him smile for the rest of eternity.

Edward's POV

Once Mr Allen asked me to work with Bella all I could think was- its true God really does hate me. Seriously what were the chances? It was like me and Bella being thrown together was some messed up version of fate or destiny. The most messed up part was that I felt almost happy that I would get to spend time with her. Argh I couldn't do this she would only end up getting hurt.

Mr Allen asked us to go sit with our partners. I knew Bella would be walking towards me but I couldn't look at her. I didn't know if I could control myself. I drew meaningless scribbles on my notebook. I heard her sigh as she got closer to me I wondered what she was thinking about. I heard her sit down and still I couldn't look at her.

"Hey" she said her voice quiet but sounding like the sweetest music.

Not wanting to appear anymore rude then I already was I looked up.

Her beautiful brown eyes were looking at me with uncertainty. They rendered me speechless.

"Hey" I whispered hoarsely after a while. I stared into her eyes for a moment later until I pulled myself together and looked away. I breathed deeply trying to calm down.

"So…" she said a moment later. I knew she must be frustrated that I wasn't talking much but I couldn't help it.

"So?" I replied amused at her attempts to make this situation less awkward.

"Um…well we better get started" she said looking away from me. She took out the assignment sheet and began reading it.

She read for awhile but I couldn't take it anymore I had to talk to her "So…" I said just like she had earlier but why did it have to sound so lame when I said it?

She smiled and my breathing hitched she was so beautiful "So?" she replied slightly mocking my earlier words.

I looked at her and almost chuckled.

I said the first thing to come into my head "Well, we have to work out where were going to work on this" pointing at the assignment sheet so she knew what I was talking about.

She seemed to contemplate this. Maybe she didn't want to spend time alone with me. It would be fair enough considering how rude I had been to her.

"Well" she said uncertainly "We can go to my house or yours if you'd prefer"

I thought about this. I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible and at my house with Alice and everyone to distract Bella her house sounded like the best option.

"Yours would probably be better…less people so we will get more work done…it's just you and your father right?" I had heard Alice telling Esme about Bella being an only child and living with just her father the night before.

"Yeah" she replied she seemed shocked about something.

"Ok" I replied as the bell rang "So when do you want to start?"

"Um…after school today would be fine"

"Ok I'll meet you there"

As we were walking towards the door I stopped allowing her to go first. She smiled that beautiful smile at me again and I couldn't help to smile back at her. She seemed shocked and stared at me for a moment. I stopped smiling worrying that I had done something wrong but she didn't say anything and just left the room. She seemed alright now so I didn't say anything.

Bella's POV

I felt nervous for the rest of the day. I couldn't believe he was actually coming to my house. I didn't want Alice to get angry with me so I paid her my full attention for the rest of the day. We were walking towards our cars at the end of the day when she asked me about the assignment.

"So you and Edward are partners?" she asked

"Yeah…" I wondered how she knew

"He asked me where you lived…are you sure you'll be alright because you can just tell him you'd prefer to come to our house" she seemed concerned

"No, no its ok he was talking to me fine before…its still a bit awkward but maybe we can be friends" I replied

"Oh Bella I really hope so…you don't know how great that would be…but just be careful ok?" she seemed worried

"Ok. I will don't worry" I tried to reassure her.

Once I was home I couldn't relax. I constantly checked outside the window wondering when he would get there. Once I saw his silver Volvo pull up the drive way I practically flew to the door and waited for him to knock. Once he had knocked I waited a few moments not wanting him to think I was too eager.

I opened the door and there he was in all his glory. I saw the usual pain in his eyes but when I looked at him I didn't know if it was my imagination or not but the sadness seemed to fade away a bit.

"Hey" he said simply not quite meeting my eyes

"Hey" I breathed back for the first time I noticed what he was wearing. A black jacket that was open, with a white t-shirt underneath that hugged his chest perfectly. I was momentarily distracted by his amazing body when to my embarrassment a moment later he cleared his throat.

"So can I come inside?" this time he looked into my eyes

"Oh" I said blushing "Yeah of course, come in" I moved aside and he slipped past me. It seemed as though he was trying hard not to touch me as he moved past.

I led him into the living room where I had my books and stuff for the assignment set up. We stood there awkwardly for a second.

"So" I searched for something to say "Would you like something to drink?"

He seemed to think for a second "Yes please, water"

"Ok" I left the room and headed for the kitchen thankful to have something to do. I got two glasses of water and headed back to the living room. When I walked in I saw to my embarrassment Edward looking at the pictures Charlie had on the wall of me growing up.

He turned around when I walked in and he looked as though he wanted to say something. I handed him the glass.

"Thanks…so you grew up in Phoenix?" He asked uncomfortably I was surprised he was trying to make conversation with me. But nevertheless I was grateful.

"Yeah…well I lived here until I was two and then my parents split up. So me and my mother moved to Phoenix"

"Do you miss it?" he looked at me listening intently

"Yeah" I said wistfully. He looked back at the photos.

"Is this your mother?" he asked pointing to one with Renee and Charlie in better times. Their arms were around each other and they were gazing at each other lovingly. It had always been my favourite photo of them together, although it made me sad as I couldn't believe two people who had been so much in love, could one day not want anything to do with each other.

"Yeah" I said hoping he didn't notice how sad my voice sounded. He looked at me with a look I couldn't understand.

"She looks like you"

I was shocked "No way she's much prettier then me"

He shook his head and muttered something that sounded like "Not possible" but I had to be mistaken there was no way that Edward, who looked like an angel, found me pretty.

"So should we get started?" I asked

He nodded and we started working.

Edwards POV

I forgot to ask Bella where she lived during class. I thought about going up to her in the halls when I saw her between classes but I chickened out. So I had to ask Alice.

"Alice" I called out before she walked towards the parking lot. She looked up surprised as everyone was when I initiated conversation.

"Yes?"

"Um…you know the history assignment?" I said uncomfortably

She nodded "Well I'm working with Bella and were working at her house this afternoon. I don't know her address so I thought I would ask you"

She looked surprised and a bit worried.

"Ok" she said uncertainly and gave me Bella's address

"Thanks" I replied and began to walk way

"Edward" She called and I stopped and turned around "She's my friend so can you please be nice…just…talk to her ok?" I nodded and walked towards my car. But what was I going to talk to her about?

I knocked on her door once I had arrived and she opened the door. She took my breath away as usual. But I couldn't look her in the eye.

We said hello but then she just stood there. I looked up and saw that she wasn't looking at me. Had she changed her mind?

I cleared my throat and looked into her eyes trying to see what she was thinking.

"So can I come inside?"

"Oh" she said and she blushed. I loved it when she blushed "Yeah of course, come in" I slipped past her trying not to touch her not wanting a repeat of last time.

We went into the living room and she offered me a drink. While she was in the kitchen I looked at the photos that were on the wall. They were mostly of Bella growing up, a few with Bella and her father and a women who I presumed to be her mother, and there was also some recent ones of Bella with a boy about our age who looked Native American. His arm was around her shoulders and I was overcome by an emotion that I had never felt before…was it jealousy? All I knew is that I didn't want that boy or any other boy touching her. I wondered if he was her boyfriend.

I was thinking about this when she walked back into the room. I briefly considered asking her about it but then I thought better of it. It was too personal. She handed me the glass of water and I tried talking to her like Alice had asked

"Thanks…so you grew up in Phoenix?" I asked feeling uncomfortable

"Yeah…well I lived here until I was two and then my parents split up. So me and my mother moved to Phoenix"

"Do you miss it?" I asked I looked into her eyes surprised by how interested I was in what she was saying

"Yeah" she said she sounded like she really did miss it.

I looked back at the photos and pointed to the one I had noticed before.

"Is this your mother?" I asked.

She looked at it for a moment before replying "Yeah" she said she sounded sad I had the strongest urge to comfort her. But thankfully I managed to control myself.

"She looks like you"

She seemed shocked "No way she's much prettier then me"

I shook my head was she insane? Yes her mother was pretty but Bella was beautiful didn't she see that? I muttered "Not possible" to myself not sure if she had heard me. She didn't say anything so I assumed she hadn't.

"So should we get started?" she asked.

**Review please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything.**

Chapter 7

Bella's POV

For the next three days we worked on the assignment together at my house. As every afternoon past us by we began to become more and more comfortable around each other. We talked to each other freely and although he was still guarded and never talked about his past he began to loosen up and even joked around with me.

I felt as though we were friends.

On the Friday we were about finished with the assignment and Edward was coming over so we could put the finishing touches on it so it would be ready to hand in on Monday.

"Ah it'll be so good when this assignment is finished" I said which was half true, I would be glad to not have to do any work but I would be sad not to spend so much time with Edward.

He looked at me for a moment before replying "Yeah me too" there was an awkward pause something which thankfully was becoming less and less frequent.

"Did Alice talk to you today?" he asked slowly not looking at me

"Yeah of course" I said slightly confused

He took a deep breath "No did she talk to you about…" but he didn't finish his sentence because the front door opened suddenly.

"Oh" I said surprised "It must be Charlie, come on, come and meet him"

I jumped up and expected him to follow me but he just sat there.

"Edward?" he looked up at me and he looked slightly nervous

"Come on" I said gently but also with confusion. He got up slowly and followed me towards the front door.

"Bella" Charlie called out and stopped when he saw us coming towards him.

"Dad this is Edward" I said pointing towards Edward "Edward this is my Dad, Charlie"

"Nice to meet you Edward" Charlie held out his hand for Edward to shake. But Edward wasn't looking at him. He had his pained look in his eyes which for the last couple of days had been almost inexistent.

"Edward" I said and instinctively elbowed him. He jumped from the contact and looked up.

"Um…nice to meet you" he mumbled but didn't take his hand.

Charlie dropped his hand looking a bit uncomfortable "You too" he said. When Edward looked away again Charlie looked at me in confusion. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well…where pretty much done right Bella?" Edward asked me softly. I nodded. "I better get going" he nodded briefly to Charlie and walked quickly out the door.

Charlie looked at me "What was all that about?"

I shook my head "I wish I knew"

That night I thought over Edward's behaviour. It was obvious he had major trust issues and didn't like to be touched from what I knew about his parents they hadn't been exactly Mum and Dad of the year. I sighed the only thing I could think of was that he had been abused as a child. I really hoped it wasn't true but that's the only explanation I could come up with. And considering how he had reacted to Charlie I suspected it was his father.

Edward's POV

I really enjoyed working on the assignment with Bella. For the first time ever I found myself opening up to a person. Of course I didn't tell her anything about my past but I talked to her about hers and I realised I was being myself. It scared me how easily I was talking to her how easy it was just to tell her everything. But I knew I couldn't, I wouldn't burden her with the horrors of my past.

When we were working on the assignment I couldn't help looking at the photo of her and the boy with his arms around her. Everyday I tried to build up the courage to ask her about it but I couldn't. It started to eat away at me I _had _to know. The only thing I could think of was to ask Alice which I really didn't want to do.

On Thursday night I waited until she was alone in the kitchen to ask her.

"Alice?" as always she looked up surprised. Jesus that was starting to piss me off it wasn't such a huge deal I did talk.

"Yes…"

"Um…"

She looked down at the magazine again "Spit it out Edward I haven't got all night" she said a bit teasingly.

"You know Bella?" she looked at me like I was an idiot

"Yes Edward…get to the point" she said impatiently

"Do you know if she has a boyfriend?" I mumbled quickly

"What?"

I took a deep breath "Do you know if she has a boyfriend?" she just stared at me in disbelief. Seriously, for about two minutes. I don't think she would have been any more shocked if I had told her I was really a woman.

I cleared my throat "Well?"

She seemed to break out of her daze "Why? Why would you ask that?"

I looked down and just shook my head "I don't know" I mumbled "I just saw this photo of her with this guy and…I don't know…just curious"

She looked at me for a moment "No she doesn't it was probably just her and Jacob…he's her friend"

I felt a sense of relief "Ok thanks" I started to turn around.

"Edward?" I turned back around "Do you like Bella?"

I didn't know what to say. But she must have seen something in my face because suddenly she flung herself at me and hugged me tightly.

I was shocked I hadn't been hugged since I was a kid. Normally I shied away from contact with other people but I felt safe with Alice so I found myself hugging her back.

"Oh Edward I can't believe this. You two would be perfect for each other" she let me go and jumped up and down

"Alice" I said "I didn't say…"

"So have you told her yet? I could totally tell her if you want"

I started panicking "No…no Alice don't say anything"

But she wasn't listening "This is seriously the best news ever..."

"Alice" I practically shouted. She stopped talking and looked at me. "Please don't say anything I'm not…sure of what I feel ok so don't say anything"

She sighed "Fine"

"Thank you" I replied hoping she would keep her promise.

On Friday Bella and I were finishing our assignment. I keep looking for signs that Alice had told her about my feelings but so far Bella had been acting completely normal.

"Ah it'll be so good when this assignment is finished" Bella said.

I looked up at her wondering if she meant that she couldn't wait till she didn't have to spend time with me. I hoped that was not the case.

I replied "Yeah me too" which should have been the truth but I was in fact lying through my teeth. If I could have my way this assignment would continue forever.

We both didn't say anything I decided to try and find out if Alice had said anything.

"Did Alice talk to you today?" I asked slowly not looking at her.

"Yeah of course" she said she sounded confused. Dammit I was stupid of course she didn't know what I meant.

I took a deep breath trying to calm down "No did she talk to you about…" I didn't finish the sentence because we both heard the front door open.

"Oh" she said sounding surprised "It must be Charlie, come on, come and meet him"

She jumped up eagerly and started towards the front hall. But I couldn't move I hadn't expected to meet her father. I didn't know how I was going to react.

"Edward?" she said looking down at me with confusion. "Come on"

I got up slowly trying to delay the inevitable. We both walked towards the door.

"Bella" a male voice called out and then her father walked into the room.

"Dad this is Edward" Bella said "Edward this is my Dad, Charlie"

"Nice to meet you Edward" Charlie said and I saw him hold out his hand this is all I saw because I instinctively looked away. My heart beat faster and louder inside my chest, my palms began to sweat and I tried to look for an escape. Inside my head I knew this was ridicules Bella's father was never going to hurt me but this is how I always felt around older men.

"Edward" Bella said and elbowed me in the ribs. I jumped startled out of my thoughts.

"Um…nice to meet you" I said quietly but I couldn't bring myself to shake his hand.

I saw him drop his hand. "You too" he said. I looked away again but from the corner of my eyes I saw Charlie look at Bella in confusion. Bella looked baffled and just shrugged her shoulders I knew she would be disappointed in me. Just when I had started to be normal here I was being rude again.

I had to get out of there "Well…where pretty much done right Bella?" I asked. She nodded. "I better get going" I nodded to Charlie and walked quickly out the door.

I walked to my car fumbling with my keys mortified with what had just happened.

I wanted to die.

**AN: Sorry that its a bit short. I just wanted to post this before i went away tomorrow. I wont be able to update for a week. Please review i only got two reviews for the last chapter so please review this one!! ok thanks!! **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Edwards POV

I played my piano trying not to think about what had happened with Bella, her father and I that afternoon. Usually when I played it helped to clear my mind but that night it just wasn't working. I didn't know what I would say to Bella the next time I saw her. I stopped playing knowing it wasn't helping at all. I looked at the clock and it was midnight. Shit where had the time gone I thought to myself. I had spent all night obsessing over what had happened at Bella's. I decided to get something to drink before I went to bed.

I walked into the kitchen and I was a little surprised to see Emmett in there rummaging in the fridge. I walked to the cupboard to get a glass, once I had one I saw Emmett turn around to look at me. I nodded at him briefly. He's eyes where a bit unfocused and I could tell he was drunk; this wasn't really uncommon he often went out partying on Friday nights. He was a football player so he was always invited to parties.

"Hey Edward, how you doing?" he smiled at me goofily, he must really be drunk.

"Good" I replied slowly. He looked at me waiting for me to continue. I felt awkward I didn't know what else to say we didn't really speak all that often. Which I know was my fault.

I started to walk out of the room.

"Hey Ed don't go, why don't you speak to me?" He asked having trouble holding eye contact and stumbling a bit.

"I'm sorr…" I started to say but he cut me off.

"Is it because you don't like me? Oh wait you don't speak to anyone in this family." His voice began to rise higher in volume.

"Emmett" I started

"No Edward…what? do you think your better then us or something?" he was starting to sound really angry and was moving towards me.

I stepped back quickly "No Emmett, of course not"

"Why are you even here? You don't want to be and no one wants you to be so why don't you leave?" he yells stepping even closer. I feel as though I have been punched in the stomach.

"EMMETT" I hear someone yell. We both turn around and standing there is Esme looking furious.

"How dare you" she says furiously to Emmett. Emmett looks at her his eyes still unfocused. "You're drunk" she says disapprovingly.

Emmett looks like he's about to laugh. "Just a little bit"

Esme shakes her head still looking angry "Go to bed now I'll speak to you in the morning" Emmett nods his head and stumbles up the stairs.

I don't look at her. I stare at the ground still stung by what Emmett has said. Not that I blame him, I don't expect people to want me around. I'm just hurt that he thinks I don't want to be there and that I'm ungrateful.

I see Esme walk towards me she's careful not to touch me just like everyone is. "Edward" she starts slowly "You know he doesn't mean it honey, he was drunk he didn't know what he was saying" I wish I could believe it but I know Emmett was saying exactly what he felt.

"You know Carlisle and I love you don't you sweetie?" she asked gently. I nodded. "Good come on you better get to bed its getting late"

"Esme…" I said quietly.

"Yes?"

"I want you to know that…that I'm happy you adopted me and that I know that I d…don't always…show it but I am grateful. I don't know where I would be if it hadn't been for you and Carlisle" there was silence I looked up.

She was looking at me with tears in her eyes. I walked towards her and wrapped my arms around her wanting to make sure she was ok.

Esme's POV

I was shocked at what Emmett had said to Edward. I had never heard him speak like that to anyone before. Edward had always been distant to everyone in the family and I knew that Emmett took that very hard. He was always filled with so much energy and would talk to anyone and everyone about anything. Although when you looked at him he looked big and scary he was in fact the friendliest, happiest young man you would ever meet. And that's why Edwards distance towards him bothered him so much; he couldn't understand why he wouldn't talk to him.

I love all three of my children equally but even I had to admit that sometimes Edward's behaviour was difficult. We had tried to get him to go to therapy but that had been unsuccessful. Even though it was difficult I knew that when he was ready he would open up to us. I had to believe that.

I knew Emmett couldn't possibly mean what he had said. He would never want Edward to leave. The alcohol had made him emotional and he had just said what he had felt in that moment. This was in no way a reflection of how he felt when he was sober.

When Edward said what he did about being grateful to Carlisle and me I couldn't contain my tears and when he hugged me for the first time, since he was a child, it was one of the happiest moments of my life. I knew something had happened to make him open up to me and whatever that something was I was eternally grateful. I knew I was finally going to get to know my son.

Bella's POV

I was concerned about what was going on with Edward although I had my suspicions I tried not to think about them. I hoped to God that they were wrong.

When I arrived at school on Monday I tried, to no avail, to not think about him. During history I sat next to him like always. He looked surprised. I knew we were able to sit anywhere now that we had handed in our assignments but did he think I was jut going to leave him to sit by himself?

I wanted to ask about what had happened on Friday afternoon but I didn't want to upset or push him so I decided to not mention it. We chatted a little, just like normal, it made me happy.

All week it seemed all anyone could talk about was Mike Newton's party which was that Friday night. Apparently it was an annual thing where everyone got wasted and there was always some huge scandal with someone hooking up with someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend…great I thought sarcastically to myself sound's awesome.

Even Alice was excited she couldn't stop telling me about the new outfit she had bought.

"Bella, you have to wear that dress you bought last week ok?" she asked me excitedly

"I don't know Alice…I'm not sure if I want to go"

"What!" she asked outraged

"Isabella Swan of course you are going"

"Aaalice…" I whined. Crap I really was pathetic. "I wont know anyone"

"What are you talking about? Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett and not to mention myself will be there"

"Yeah but still…" I tried to think of something else.

"No Bella, end of discussion, you are going"

"What are you my Mo…?" Alice glared at me as though daring me to continue.

"Fine" I sighed "I'll go"

She jumped up and down hugging me excitedly. I was seriously concerned about her mood swings. I was going to suggest she go see somebody about that but then decided I would rather live.

After lunch as we were walking to class Alice looked as though she wanted to ask me something.

"Alice" I asked "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah…"she said slowly "Um Bella?"

"Yes" I was shocked I had never seen her lost for words before.

"Do…do you like my brother?" she looked up at me seriously.

"What?" I asked confused "Emmett…? No of course not" I screwed up my face wondering where on earth she had gotten that idea.

She giggled "No silly not Emmett…Edward"

Oh crap was it that obvious. I started to blush and didn't answer.

She looked at me closely "I guess that's my answer" I could see a flicker of excitement in her eyes that I didn't understand.

"No…Alice…I mean…I don't know" I stuttered. I really had no idea what to say.

"You so do I can tell. Why don't you ask him to Mike's party?"

I was shocked did she actually think I had a chance? "But…but how do I know he would even say yes?"

"I guess you don't unless you try" she said and skipped off to her class.

I looked after her shocked not knowing what I was going to do.

I walked into class in a daze. I didn't even notice that the class had already started until Mr Allen said "Bella how lovely of you to join us" I blushed, stuttered an apology and stumbled into my seat.

I didn't look at Edward but I could see in the corner of my eye that he was looking at me.

After I was sure my face had returned to its natural colour I looked up at him. He was still looking at me but when he saw I was looking at him he quickly looked away.

"So" I said angry at myself when my voice shook slightly.

He looked at me again waiting for what I was going to say next.

"Are you going to the…party on Friday" I looked down praying that my face wouldn't turn red again.

"Um…I don't kn…I mean I wasn't planning on it"

"Oh" I looked up and saw that he was staring at the desk. "Well Alice is forcing me to go and since I don't know many people. I thought maybe…you might want to come and we could…hang out together or something" I was sure my face was bright red now.

I was shocked when I saw his cheeks start to turn a bit red. Was he blushing?

He didn't look up and was silent for a few moments.

My heart beat fast and I was preparing myself for the rejection I was certain was inevitable.

"Ok" I heard him say in barely a whisper.

He finally looked up at me. He smiled his beautiful smile which as always made me breathless.

"Did you want me too pick you up?"

"Um" I thought quickly I knew if he picked me up Charlie would want to speak to him and I didn't want to make Edward uncomfortable again. "Well Alice is getting ready at my house so she can drive me. So I can just meet you there?"

He looked a little sad. I hoped I hadn't said anything wrong. "Ok" he said and smiled again.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly I was very excited for this party.

Edward's POV

I had been worried about how Bella was going to react to me when I saw her next. But I needn't have worried because she didn't even mention it. She acted the same as she had before I had freaked out meeting her father. We handed in our assignment on Monday and we had sat next to each other in History while we were doing our assignment. And even though we were free to now sit where ever we wanted she still chose to sit next to me.

Things at home had been weird. It was awkward with Emmett and even though he had apologised I couldn't forget what he had said. I didn't know how to make things better.

At school all anyone would talk about was Mike Newton's party he was having on the Friday night. I was definitely not going. From what I had heard about his parties from previous years, it sounded like my worst nightmare.

I walked into history on Wednesday excited, as always, at the thought of seeing Bella. Going to History class was the only thing I looked forward too.

She wasn't there when I arrived; I sat down and watched the door, so I could see when she came in. After a few minutes Mr Allen started class. I wondered where she was. I knew she was there because I had seen her that morning. I was starting to feel really disappointed when suddenly she walked through the door. She looked as beautiful as ever but she was blushing slightly and she looked a bit dazed. I wondered what had happened. She didn't even seem to notice that class had started.

She looked surprised when Mr Allen said "Bella how lovely of you to join us" I felt a serge of anger towards him when Bella blushed even more. She stumbled to her seat and sat down. She didn't look at me I wondered if I should ask if she was ok or if that would embarrass her even more.

I stared at her mesmerised by the colour on her cheeks. I looked down lower to her lips they looked so soft I wanted to… she looked up at me suddenly. Shit I thought and looked away quickly.

"So" she said. She sounded a bit nervous. For a second I was worried she was going to say something about my staring.

I looked at her trying to concentrate on what she was saying and not to get distracted.

"Are you going to the…party on Friday?" She looked down again I wished she wouldn't.

"Um…I don't kn…I mean I wasn't planning on it" the question was unexpected and I had no idea why she was asking me unless…I looked down at the desk trying not to get my hopes up.

"Oh" she said. "Well Alice is forcing me to go and since I don't know many people. I thought maybe…you might want to come and we could…hang out together or something"

I couldn't look at her. I felt my face start to burn. I couldn't believe it she asking me to go to the party with her. Could she actually like me?

I had no idea what to say I knew I should say no as I didn't want to hurt her. But my heart was begging me to say yes.

"Ok" I whispered after a few moments.

I looked up at her and smiled at her shocked face. What did she actually think I might say no?

"Did you want me too pick you up?" I asked

"Um" she said quickly "Well Alice is getting ready at my house so she can drive me. So I can just meet you there?"

I didn't know what to make of that. Maybe she was scared at how I would react to her Dad again.

"Ok" I replied and couldn't help but to smile at her again.

I couldn't help but to smile for the rest of the day. I never would have thought that I would actually be excited for Mike Newton's party.

**A:N Please review!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Dislaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything**

Chapter 9

Bella's POV

Alice came over to my house on Friday night to help me get ready for the party. She could barley contain her excitement.

"Oh Bella, I'm so happy you and Edward are going to the party together" she said while straightening my hair she was coming dangerously close to burning my ear from all her excitement.

"Yeah me too Alice…just be careful ok?" but she wasn't listening.

"I hope you two get together" she squealed the hair straightener coming even closer.

"Alice" I screamed just before it made contact.

"Oh whoops. Sorry Bella my bad" she started to concentrate and I was able to breathe a whole lot easier.

I was incredibly nervous. This wasn't a normal date I knew Edward was different. My feelings for him where so intense, it scared me. His reactions to things concerned me and I wasn't sure of what I was getting myself into but whenever I thought of Edward I knew that, whatever it was, it was worth it.

I dressed in the blue strapless dress that I had bought with Alice when we had gone shopping. I wore my hair out straight as Alice said it looked best natural. Whatever, I would have to take her word for it. I didn't usually wear much makeup, except for a little bit of foundation, but Alice did my makeup and she used a lot. I could hardly recognise myself.

"Whatever happened to natural looking best?" I asked her as I looked at myself in the mirror. The makeup made my skin look flawless and my eyes larger and more noticeable.

She waved her hand impatiently "That was with your hair Bella, and besides I didn't use that much"

Ok whatever you say I thought.

"Ok…what shoes are you going to wear?"

I looked in my closet and pulled out a pair of silver flats that I thought would look good with the dress.

"These ones? I think they would… "I stopped when I saw the look on her face. She looked horrified.

I put them back in the closet "No? Ok then what do you suggest?"

She jumped up and grabbed a box from out of her bag "I thought you'd never ask…I didn't think you'd have anything so I went and bought these for you"

"Aliceee…you didn't have to buy them for me" I took the box from her and started to open it.

"I know but I wanted to…besides you can't go to a party in those flats. Come on! you need heels"

I opened the box and inside was the most beautiful pair of silver high heels I had ever. And they were high

"Crap Alice I don't know if I'm going to be able to walk in these"

"Don't be silly of course you will" she waved her hand as if this was of no concern

"Ok and thanks really. There beautiful" I gave her a big hug

She hugged me back "Your more then welcome Bella. I've only known you for a short time but already your one of my best friends"

I started to feel a bit teary

"Now let's get to the party before we start blubbering like babies" she said laughing and dabbing the tears from her eyes.

I laughed as well "Ok let's go"

I looked at my watch and was startled by the time. We were going to be late I hoped Edward hadn't been waiting to long.

Edward's POV

I had been nervous all day.

I had no idea of what to expect from this night. I briefly battled with myself and considered not going but when I thought about Bella I knew that I couldn't do that to her. So I got dressed and drove to Mike Newton's house something I never thought I would do.

When I arrived it was everything I thought a high school party would be. People getting drunk and doing things they would surely regret doing in the morning. I saw a girl from my English class who everyone knew had a serious boyfriend making out with someone who was definitely not her boyfriend and I saw another girl vomiting in the bushes. I sighed yeah this is why I didn't come to these stupid parties. Just think about Bella I told myself.

As I walked in I looked around for her and for Alice because I knew they'd be together but I didn't see them anywhere. But I did see Mike Newton walking towards me. Great I thought.

"Edward" he said cheerfully swaying a bit "Nice to see you man"

"Hey" I said looking for a way to escape

"Hey" he said seriously "Have you seen that new girl? You know that hot one?"

I clenched my teeth. I knew exactly who he was talking about.

"I don't know…"

"You know who I mean don't you? She's got the hottest body. I mean her boobs could be bigger but she's got a nice tight ass…" I stopped before he could continue and before I broke his nose.

"No I haven't…look Mike I have to go" I walked past him seething. How dare he talk about Bella like that?

I walked to the table in the middle of the room where the alcohol was. I could see the whole room from there so hopefully I could spot Bella when she arrived and stop Mike from getting to her first. I stood there watching the door when suddenly someone grabbed me by the arm.

I looked up in surprise and was hardly able to suppress my groan when I saw it was Lauren Mallory.

"Hey Edward" she slurred. She was completely wasted. She grabbed me around the neck and tried to draw me closer to her.

"What are you doing?" I grabbed her hands and tried to break her grip

"You're so hot. I know you want me. Come on lets go upstairs and when can have our own fun" she sounded like she was trying to be seductive but really she made me want to throw up. I had managed to pull her hands off of me and moved her away.

"No. I'm waiting for someone actually" I said and looked back towards the door. I saw Alice walking through and I sighed in relief finally, Bella should be here now too.

Lauren obviously seeing I was distracted seized her opportunity and jumped on me and pressed her lips to mine. I was so shocked I couldn't move for a moment. Finally realising what had happened I grabbed her and pushed her off me.

"What are you doing?" I said outraged wiping my lips.

"Come on Eddie I know you want it" She purred

I froze. Those words were way too familiar. I looked back towards the door but Bella was nowhere to be seen.

Bella's POV

Alice and I walked into the party I could see many guys looking at us but I could only assume they were looking at Alice. As always she looked as perfect as a model in a little polka dot dress that suited her just right.

"Look at all the boys checking you out" she whispered to me giggling

I was shocked "No there not their looking at you"

"Bella" she laughed "Don't be silly"

I looked around. Some of them did look as though they were looking at me.

I looked around once again searching for Edward. We walked into the main room and Alice said she was going to look for Jasper. As she walked away I looked up and there I saw Edward. My heart just about stopped.

He was kissing that skank Alice had told me about Lauren Mallory. She was all over him. She was wearing a short skirt that barely covered her butt and a small top with her boobs practically hanging out. I ran out of the room.

I walked out into the backyard not believing what had happened. I couldn't believe Edward had agreed to meet me here to only go and make out with someone else. I guess I should have believed Rosalie. He was a jerk.

I felt someone place there arm across my shoulders. I looked up and saw it was Mike Newton.

"Hey beautiful" he slurred. He was so wasted.

"Hey" I said my voice must have sounded sad.

"Hey cheer up. It's a party your supposed to be having fun" he handed me a cup "Here this'll make you happy"

To upset to care I took a sip. Mike steered me over to a table where they were playing a drinking game. I decided to join in.

Edward's POV

Shit.

I could only assume that Bella had seen me and Lauren. She must be mad. Fuck of course she was mad I had agreed to come to this party with her and then she thought she saw me making out with someone else. Though against my will but she wouldn't have seen that.

I walked around the room but I couldn't see her anywhere. I spotted Alice in the corner of the room making out with Jasper. Though I could have thought of a million things I would rather do then to go interrupt my sister while she was making out with her boyfriend, I had to find Bella.

"Alice?" I said tentatively walking up to them. They didn't notice me.

"Alice?" I said a bit louder and they both looked up at me surprised

"Have you seen Bella?"

"No" she seemed confused "She said she was going to find you. She was in here like two minutes ago"

"Hey when you find her tell her I'm going to be late so she can get a ride home with you because she's staying at out house tonight. Is that ok?"

"Yeah that's fine" I replied barely listening. "Thanks" I walked away and heard Jasper asking Alice what was going on. I don't think he'd ever heard me speak more than two words before.

I looked through all the rooms and even went upstairs but I still couldn't find her. I was starting to worry that she had started to walk home when I thought about checking the backyard.

I saw her straight away she was staggering across the lawn and I could see that it was more then her heels that were making her stumble. She was drunk. I saw that Mike was trying to help her and had his arm around her waist which was inching closer and closer to her butt. I could see that she was trying to push him away.

"No…Mike no"

I was furious. I hurried towards them. I saw him try to kiss her but he didn't get to because I grabbed him by the arm and ripped him off of her.

"Hey!" he said surprised stumbling and almost falling. "What are you doing man?"

"She said no" I said angrily

Bella began to stumble and I caught her before she fell.

"Edward?" she whispered

"She wants it man. Look at how she's dressed" he said leering at her "She looks like a slu…" he didn't get to finish because I punched him straight in the nose.

"Fuck Edward. Man what is your problem" he screamed clutching his nose as the blood poured out.

People were walking towards us staring at me so I quickly grabbed Bella and hurried out through the fence at the back of the yard.

She was having trouble walking so I picked her up.

"Bella are you ok?" I asked her gently

"Edward…what are you doing?" she mumbled

"Taking you home" I said in confusion

"Why don't you go back? Lauren's probably waiting for you" she said sadly

I sighed "Bella she kissed me. I pushed her away I would never want to do that with her"

She looked into my eyes as though seeing if I was telling the truth.

"Ok" she mumbled and tightened her arms around my neck. I pressed my nose into her hair smelling her sweet smell. It was the best thing I had ever smelled.

I carried her to my car and placed her in the front seat. I did her seat belt up and tried not to let my hands linger on her skin.

When I started up the car she started to squirm in her seat.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Where's Alice?"

"With Jasper. She said she'll be late"

"Oh" she said giggling.

I looked at her amused the alcohol must really be kicking in now.

She turned on the radio and the song 'Just Dance' came on.

"Ooh" she squealed jumping up and down "I love this song"

She started singing but she got half the words wrong.

"Bella" I laughed "Those aren't even the words"

"They are so the words" she said indignantly

"No there not"

"Whatever I don't care I can sing it any way I want" she said and continued singing

I laughed again. This was the most I could remember ever laughing.

While we were driving my phone rang. I looked at it and saw that it was Alice.

"Hello?"

"Hey Edward where are you? I can't find you anywhere"

"Is that Alice?" Bella asked me. I nodded. "Helloooo Alice" She yelled in my ear "I miss youuuu…I loveee you" she crooned

"Is that Bella" Alice asked surprised

"Yeah…um she got a bit drunk so I'm taking her home"

"What are you talking about Edward? I am so not drunk!" She said trying to poke me in the arm but missing completely

"Is she alright" Alice asked concerned

"Yeah she's fine"

"Ok well…I was going to stay at Jaspers tonight but if you need me to come home I will"

I thought for a minute "Um…no it's ok I'll be fine"

"Ok well thanks Edward I'll see you later" she said and hanged up.

Once we arrived at home Bella was dozing in her seat.

"Bella… come on where here" I said trying to wake her up.

"Mhmm"

I sighed and picked her up and carried her into the house. I was grateful that Carlisle and Esme where out of town I didn't know how they would have reacted.

She was light I looked down at her marvelling at how beautiful she was. Her dress was blue, which went beautifully with her skin, and strapless, perfectly displaying her perfect shoulders.

As we were walking into the house she opened her eyes and looked at me for a moment. She reached her hand out and touched my face. My breath caught. She traced my lips and my cheekbones and then around my eyes.

"So sad" she whispered like she could see into my soul.

I just looked at her.

Her hand moved down my face.

She smiled slightly "So beautiful"

My heart pounded wondering what she could possibly see about me that was beautiful.

I walked up the stairs and into Alice's room staring into her eyes the whole time.

I placed her on the bed and felt awkward. Her eyes were now closed. I wondered what to do next.

She started to wriggle around like she was uncomfortable. I reached over and pulled off her shoes hoping that would help. She sat up and I saw that her dress was riding up at the front and I could see her perfect thighs and her blue underwear I tried not to look.

"Edward" she mumbled "Pass me that shirt" she pointed to a white shirt on the ground. I picked it up and handed it to her.

"Goodnight" I said and turned to walk out of the room.

"No wait" she said. I turned around only to turn back around when I saw she had her dress off and was sitting there only in her underwear and strapless bra.

"Whoops" she giggled "One second"

I breathed deeply trying to control myself.

"Ok now" she said. I turned back around and she was just in the shirt and underwear. Yeah really not helping I thought sarcastically.

"Come here" she said softly. I had not choice but to go over to her I didn't think I could ever deny her anything.

"What?" I whispered.

"Stay here" she mumbled

"Bella" I said shocked.

"I don't want to be alone" she grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the bed.

I sat there for a moment contemplating what to do. But then she looked at me with her big brown eyes and I knew I wasn't going anywhere.

I pulled off my shoes and jeans so that I was wearing only my boxer shorts and T-shirt. I pulled back the covers and got in next to her.

She sighed happily "Thank you Edward"

"Th…That's ok" I said back.

I lay their stiffly. I knew I couldn't allow myself to fall asleep. I didn't want her to hear my nightmares again.

She sighed again and wrapped her arms around my waist and brought herself closer to me. She placed her lips on my neck and started to kiss me softly.

"Bella" I said reluctantly and pushed her gently off me "Come on. You don't want to do this"

She moved back quickly "What do you mean? Of course I do" she moved her hand and began to rub my stomach and move her hand under my shirt. I froze. Not like this I thought desperately as her hand began to travel lower until her hand brushed against…

I grabbed her hand and moved it.

She giggled "I think you want to as much as me Edward" she teased.

"N…no Bella not like this" I said trying to sound stern. "Come on try and go to sleep"

"Fine" she sighed but I could tell she was sleepy. We lay in silence until I heard her breathing begin to even out and sighed in relief. She was asleep.

A few minutes later I heard her sigh again and then she said "I love you Edward".

I froze.

Shit. What had I done?

**A:N Reviews Please!!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything**

Chapter 10

Bella's POV

I was dreaming.

I was in a boat in the middle of the ocean. It was rocking back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

I woke up with shock and sat up suddenly. My hand covering my mouth. I ran out into the hall and straight into to the bathroom, I fell onto my knees and promptly threw up in the toilet. My head was pounding and my throat felt like it was on fire. Yeah that's what you get for drinking I thought to myself as I threw up again.

I tried to remember what had happened at the party. It was all a bit blurry. My heart hurt as I remembered Edward kissing Lauren but then I remembered Edward saving me from Mike and explaining what had happened and I felt better.

I got up from the floor and washed my face with some cold water that made me feel ten times better.

Suddenly I remembered Edward seeing me in my underwear and me practically begging him to sleep in the bed with me. I groaned my face flushing with embarrassment. What else had I done?

I hadn't failed to notice that he certainly wasn't in the bed with me when I woke up.

Edward's POV

I felt like shit.

After Bella had said she loved me I waited for a few moments and then got up and went to my room. I couldn't be so close to her I knew that if I was I would never want to leave.

I sat on my bed knowing there was no way that I was going to sleep. Which for me would usually have been a good thing; if I didn't sleep there would be no nightmares. But not sleeping meant I had to think about what had just happened.

Although I tried everything I could to push away the feeling, I couldn't help it that my heart filled with joy at the thought of what Bella had said; she loved me. It took all I had not to go and tell her the same thing.

I lay back on my bed my hands covering my face. She couldn't love me I thought to myself, as much as I didn't want it to be true I knew that she didn't know me. She didn't know the darkness lurking inside of me. She could never know the real me. She was sweet and pure and good, things I would never be, and someone like her would surely run if she knew the truth. And I wouldn't blame her if she did.

I couldn't taint her with my darkness; I loved her too much for that.

Bella's POV

I slept for the rest of the night and well into the next day. I was shaken awake by Alice at around noon. She apologised for staying at Jasper's and asked how things went with Edward. I skipped over the details and just told her I wasn't sure yet. She seemed disappointed. She drove me home and chatted non stop about gossip from the party but I barely listened I was still embarrassed by many things that had happened the night before and was sure I had blown what little chance I had with Edward.

On Monday my fear was confirmed Edward avoided me the whole day. I tried to say hello before history class but he barely even looked at me and he certainly didn't sit next to me. He went and sat next to some random guy who I had never seen him speak to before. I slumped down in my seat fighting back tears as I tried to remember what I could possibly have done to make him act like this.

I walked out of class in a daze and very gracefully ran straight into the doorframe. I gasped and dropped all my books on the floor. I bent down to pick them up but there was already someone there picking them up for me. I looked down at his bronze head and my heart began to beat faster.

He stood up and placed the books in my hands looking at the floor the whole time.

"Thanks" I whispered softly.

He nodded and turned to go.

I grabbed his arm "Wait" I said frantically. He turned back around but still didn't look at me.

"Wh…Are you ok? Did I do something to upset you?"

"No" he says looking like he's searching for something to say "It's just….I think its better we weren't friends"

"Why" I asked hurt.

"Some of the stuff you said the other night….I think that maybe…you care more about…me then I do for you"

I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. "What did I say?"

"You don't remember?"

"No. I was drunk I probably didn't even mean it" I lied I'm sure I meant every word.

Something I didn't understand flashed in his eyes "Either way I think its best" he said and turned around quickly and left the room.

I stood there for a moment until my tears started to slowly fall.

Edward's POV

I avoided Bella. I sat in a different seat in history so I wouldn't have to be near her and remember just how good she smelled and how soft her skin was.

As she was walking out of the room she dropped her books and I knew I couldn't just walk past her. I bent to pick them up and placed them back in her arms all the while not looking at her face. I stared at the floor.

"Thanks" She whispered.

I nodded quickly and turned to leave.

She grabbed my arm and I felt her tiny warm hands on my skin. It felt better then I remembered.

"Wait" she said. I turned back.

"Wh…Are you ok? Did I do something to upset you?" she sounded flustered.

"No" I said having no idea what to say. "It's just….I think its better we weren't friends"

"Why" I heard the pain in her voice and I hated myself even more.

"Some of the stuff you said the other night….I think that maybe…you care more about…me then I do for you" I lied.

"What did I say?" I didn't expect that. She had been drunk but I hadn't even thought of the possibility that she wouldn't remember.

"You don't remember?"

"No. I was drunk I probably didn't even mean it"

Of course she didn't mean it I thought and where I should have felt relief I only felt pain. "Either way I think its best" I said and quickly left the room.

Bella's POV

I walked to my car tears still running down my face I looked at the ground so no one could see. But someone like me should always be looking where there going because of course I ran into someone.

Luckily it was Alice so it wasn't too embarrassing.

"Bella" she laughed in surprise but then she saw my face and all humour vanished from her face "What's wrong"

"N…Nothing" I said quietly.

"Bella of course something's wrong. You know you can tell me" she said gently pulling me into a hug.

I sobbed into her shoulder "Ed…Edward said he didn't want to be my friend and that he didn't care about me"

"He said what?" she screeched. "No that's not possible. I'm positive he likes you. I've seen his face when he talks about you"

I shrugged and wiped away the tears from my eyes "That's what he said"

She looked angry.

"Don't say anything ok Alice"

"But…"

"Promise me" I said sternly

"Ok I promise" she said reluctantly

**AN: Sorry so short. i'll hopefully post another chapter tomorrow. Please review!!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything**

Chapter 11

Edward's POV

I had been home for a few minutes. When the door was suddenly flung open and in stormed Alice. She looked angry and was coming straight at me. I stepped back honestly afraid of her.

"Edward Cullen what have you done" she screamed.

"Wha…"

"I can't believe you would say that to Bella. I really thought you liked her!" she yelled walking closer to me.

I looked at the floor.

"Answer me"

"You didn't ask any…"

She cut me off again waving her hand impatiently "Why did you do that to her? She was devastated and crying her eyes out"

I felt a pang in my heart at the thought of hurting Bella. "I'm sorry it's just…"I trailed of having no idea what to say.

"It's just what Edward? I thought you'd changed. I really did. But I guess I was wrong" she looked at me with disappointment and walked out of the room.

I stood there with shame washing over me. Trying to convince myself that it was better this way.

I walked out of the house. I couldn't handle being there anymore.

Bella's POV

When I arrived home I still felt upset. I tried to everything I could to get Edward and his rejection out of my mind.

I cleaned my room, did my laundry and when that didn't take up as much time as I wanted it to I decided to clean the whole house. It didn't really help I was still obsessing over Edward but at least the house was clean.

I walked into my room and decided to take a nap hoping this would take my mind off him.

Edward's POV

It was getting late. I walked around aimlessly feeling miserable the whole time.

The streets where deserted which wasn't surprising; it was a Monday night. I was walking towards the small amount of shops that Forks had and was considering heading back home. There were a few people around doing last minute grocery shopping before the stores closed.

As I was walking around the back of the stores I suddenly felt myself being pushed into the ground. I looked up in shock my mouth and eyes covered in dirt.

"Hey fag" someone said. I wiped the dirt from my eyes and tried to see who it was. I recognised him from school a huge football player whose name was either Mick or Rick I wasn't sure. I had never spoken to him before.

"What?" I sputtered spitting out the dirt from my mouth. I tried to get up but I was then kicked in the back and I fell back down.

Mick/Rick wasn't alone.

He crouched down and looked me in the eyes "So you think you can just turn Lauren down. You hurt her you know and no one hurts my friends and gets away with it" he picked me up and then punched me in the eye.

I fell on to my back and when I opened my eyes I could see at least five other guys there and that's all I could see before they started kicking me.

When they were done Mick/Rick spat on me "You tell anyone and you die ok?" when I didn't answer he kicked me again "Ok?"

"Ok" I whispered. Squeezing my eyes closed trying to block out the pain. I heard there footsteps as they walked away.

I struggled to get up the pain in my ribs sharp and throbbing.

I stumbled down the footpath with no idea where to go. I couldn't go home I didn't want my family to see me like this. There was no where else I could go.

Bella's face flashed in my mind. I didn't want her to see me like this either but she was the only person who had ever shown they cared about me.

I knew where I had to go.

Bella's POV

Edward's face was looming towards me. His face perfect. His lips coming towards mine as he whispered in my ear and I felt goosebumps start to travel up my arm.

Then I woke up and groaned in disappointment. Of course it wasn't real. I heard an insistent tapping. That's what must have woken me up I thought in annoyance. I looked around wondering where it was coming from.

It started to get louder and I realised it was coming from the window. My first thought was that it was a branch from a tree banging on my window in the wind. I walked towards it and opened the curtains and jumped back in surprise.

It was Edward.

Seriously what was this? He had said he didn't want to be friends and now he was at my window? I opened the window and was fully prepared to give him a piece of my mind. Then I saw his face.

"Edward…what happened?" his face was bruised and there was a cut above his eye that was bleeding a lot.

He didn't answer. I grabbed him arm and tried to hep him into the room. He flinched while he was getting in and held his hand to his ribs. I realised that it wasn't just his face that was hurt.

"Bella" he whispered as I led him to my bed and helped him sit down.

I knelt down in front of him and looked into his eyes. "Tell me what happened" I said firmly.

He looked at his hands "I don't know…these guys were angry at me for turning down Lauren"

"So they beat you up?" I asked outraged that anyone would do this to him.

He shrugged.

"You need to go to the hospital"

"No!" he said loudly. I flinched

He grabbed my hand "I'm sorry…I don't want to go. I'm fine" I looked at him in disbelief. "I mean nothings broken. There just bruises"

"Are you sure?"

He nodded

"Um Edward why did come here? Why didn't you go home?"

He looked down "I…I didn't want to go home" I looked at him questionably "I didn't want them to worry"

"Ok" I said uncertainly

"I didn't know where else to go" my heart sank "and…and I wanted to see you" I looked at him trying not to get my hopes up again.

"I…I'll go get something to clean up your eye"

I walked out of the room towards the bathroom. I got the first aid kit and walked back into the room. He was still sitting on my bed looking like an angel in spite of the bruises.

I knelt back down and got a swipe to wash his cut in antiseptic. He looked into my eyes as I swept it across the cut above his eye. I couldn't breathe. I had to look away so that I could catch my breath again.

"Does it hurt?" I ask. I looked back at him.

"No" he said simply. The look in his eye made me believe him straight away. He wasn't trying to be brave, he really meant it.

I placed a bandaid on the cut.

"Is it only you face that's hurt?" I asked

He nodded but he didn't look at me so I knew he was lying. I knew there was more.

"Edward"

He looked up "They kicked me as well"

"Where?" I asked

He sat there for a moment and then he stood up and pulled up his shirt. I gasped. His ribs and stomach were covered in bruises. I couldn't believe someone would do this to another person. Especially him. I couldn't help but to notice how beautiful his body was. It was like a sculpture with the most perfect abs I had ever seen on someone who wasn't a model. I felt bad that he was hurt and I was ogling him. Bella snap out of it I told myself sternly.

He pulled his shirt back down and sat down again.

"I'll get you some ice" I whispered softly and he nodded.

I walked down the stairs horrified by his injuries. I couldn't understand why he had come here especially after what he had said earlier today.

I walked back into the room with an ice pack and he placed it on his eye.

"Thanks…Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I just… wanted to say sorry for today"

"That's ok" I lied "I'm glad you told me how you feel" I said trying to keep the sadness out of my voice.

He looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"I mean if you don't want to be my friend I'm glad yo…." I broke off when Edward leaned closer to me and suddenly his lips were pressing against mine.

I sat there for a moment frozen. He started to pull away and suddenly I was able to move again and I pulled him to me pressing my lips to his harder. My hands trailed up his back and wrapped themselves in his beautiful soft hair. He murmured softy and I smiled this was much better then my dreams.

His hands travelled to my waist and brought me even closer. I pressed myself closer to him and he jumped back softly.

I pulled away horrified "What did I do something…"

"No" said quickly "You just knocked my ribs" he motioned towards his stomach.

"Oh" I said in relief. He smiled slightly and pulled me back towards him.

Edward's POV

I was grateful Bella's house was close to the stores. I didn't think I would have made it much further. Somehow I managed to climb up to her window. Not wanting to meet her father by going through the front door.

I tapped on the window and when she didn't come after a few moments I briefly worried that she wasn't home. Then suddenly the curtains where drawn open. She jumped back looking shocked. She started to open the window with an annoyed look on her face. I knew she was thinking about what I had said earlier today.

She must have just noticed my bruises because her face was suddenly filled with compassion.

"Edward…what happened?" her concern was etched on her beautiful face. I didn't know what to say so I just stayed silent.

She grabbed my arm and helped me in to the room. I tried not to flinch when it jolted my ribs and a sharp pain shook through me.

"Bella" I said wanting to explain why I was there but I was unable to find the words.

She pulled me towards the bed and helped me sit down.

She knelt in front of me and looked into my eyes with her beautiful brown ones. "Tell me what happened"

I looked down. No one had ever sounded that concerned about me and I didn't know how to handle it.

"I don't know…these guys were angry at me for turning down Lauren"

"So they beat you up?" She asked sounding furious.

I shrugged.

"You need to go to the hospital"

"No!" I said loudly and was quickly ashamed when she flinched

I grabbed her hand wanting to make everything ok "I'm sorry…I don't want to go. I'm fine" she looked at me in disbelief "I mean nothings broken. There just bruises" I knew if my ribs were broken I would be in a lot more pain. I knew that from experience.

"Are you sure?" she asked sceptically

I nodded.

"Um Edward why did come here? Why didn't you go home?" she asked softly.

"I…I didn't want to go home" she looked at me in confusion "I didn't want them to worry" that was only half true I also wanted to be with her but I didn't know how to tell her that.

"Ok" she said but she didn't sound like she believed me.

"I didn't know where else to go" she looked sad so I quickly added "and…and I wanted to see you"

"I…I'll go get something to clean up your eye" she said and walked out of the room.

I sat there for a moment until she returned soon after.

She knelt back down and swiped antiseptic gently across the cut above my eye. I looked into her eyes unable to look away. She looked away after a moment.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

"No" I said. I could handle physical pain it was preferred to the pain I felt inside

"Is it only you face that's hurt?" she asked after she put a bandaid over the cut.

I nodded and didn't look at her. I didn't want her to worry even more.

"Edward" she asked. She knew I was lying.

I looked up at her "They kicked me as well"

"Where?" she asked

After a moment I stood up and pulled up my shirt. I looked away not wanting to see her reaction. I heard her gasp.

She didn't say anything so I pulled my shirt back down and sat back down

"I'll get you some ice" she whispered and left the room.

She returned with the ice and I place it on my eye. It made if feel a lot better.

"Thanks…Bella?" I asked wanting her to know how I felt.

"Yeah?" she asked

"I just… wanted to say sorry for today"

"That's ok" she said but she looked sad and I knew she wasn't telling the truth "I'm glad you told me how you feel"

I looked at her and how beautiful she looked. And I made a decision.

"I mean if you don't want to be my friend I'm glad yo…." She stopped when I leaned towards her and did what I had been dreaming of doing. I placed my lips on her soft ones. It was better then I had imagined it.

After a moment she wasn't responding. Horrified that she didn't want this I started to pull away but to my surprise she pulled me back towards her and pressed her lips even harder to mine. Her hands went up my back and into my hair. I moaned softly and I felt her smile.

I let my hands fall to her waist where her shirt rid up and I felt the soft silky skin there. I pulled her even closer. She would never be close enough. She pressed herself to me and knocked my ribs and a pain shot through them and I jumped back.

She pulled away looking horrified "What did I do something…"

"No" I said trying to reassure her "You just knocked my ribs"

"Oh" she said in relief. I smiled at her and continued what we started.

**AN reviews please**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything **

**AN: Thanks everyone for reviewing. I hope you like this chapter**

Chapter 12

Bella's POV

Ever since his lips first touched mine I was flying. It was the best feeling in the world and I never wanted to stop. But Edward stopped us before we went any further. He said we shouldn't move to fast and I very reluctantly agreed. Even though inside all I wanted was to go as far as possible and be as close to him as I could. But I didn't want to push him.

He wrapped his arms around me and I very gently placed my head on his chest not wanting to hurt him.

"So we can be friends?" I whispered into the darkness.

I felt his chest shake and I knew he was chuckling.

"I don't want to be your friend" he whispered in my ear making me shiver "I want more than that" he kissed me on the top of my head.

"Me too" I whispered back drowsily and I slowly fell asleep.

Edward's POV

When Bella and I were kissing I forgot everything else all I could think about was the touch of her skin and her beautiful scent. Everything else disappeared. I wanted to go further but I knew we had to stop. It was to fast and neither of us was ready for that.

She looked tired so I wrapped my arms around her. I knew I couldn't let myself sleep.

She whispered softly ""So we can be friends?" and I laughed there was no way I just wanted to be her friend.

"I don't want to be your friend" I whispered softly smelling her hair "I want more than that" a lot more I thought to myself.

"Me too" she replied and my heart soared.

I heard her breathing even out and knew she was asleep. I shifted slightly so I could see her face. She looked like an angel, so peaceful and beautiful.

I lay there just watching her sleep. She mumbled a few times and I was overjoyed when she mumbled my name.

When the sun began to rise I knew I had to go home. I had to face my family at some point. I didn't want to wake Bella up but I really didn't want her to wake up and find me gone without an explanation. I shifted so I could get out from under her. But she wrapped her hands around me tighter and grabbed a fistful of my shirt.

"No" she whimpered in her sleep "Don't go"

I shook her slightly trying to wake her up.

"Bella" I said softly "Wake up"

She opened her eyes slowly and when she saw me they brightened immediately

"Edward" she whispered. "It wasn't a dream" she mumbled as though to herself.

"No" I chuckled slightly "I have to go home now"

"Nooo" she whined "Stay here" she pulled me to her and wrapped herself even tighter to me.

I almost gave in but I knew I had to go home.

"I'll see you at school later" I said softly and gently pulled her hands off me.

She pouted and I laughed quietly.

I kissed her on the forehead. Knowing if I kissed her lips I would never leave.

"I'll see you later. Go back to sleep" I whispered. She smiled at me and it took every ounce of strength of mine to turn towards the window and leave.

I walked into my house praying that no one would be there to meet me. As I walked into the kitchen my heart immediately sank when I saw Carlisle sitting there looking like he hadn't slept at all. He looked up at me with an angry look on his face. When he saw my injured face his expression immediately softened and turned concerned.

"Edward what happened?" he asked jumping up from his seat and walking towards me.

I looked at the floor "Nothing" I said softly.

He reached his hand towards my face and, though I tried not to, I flinched. He dropped his hand.

"Where have you been?" I looked up his expression was a mix of hurt and anger.

Esme rushed into the saving me from answering.

"Where have you been?" she hissed angrily but she also stopped when she saw my face.

"Oh Edward are you ok? What happened?" she moved forward and pulled me into a hug.

"Noth…"I started to say but I saw Carlisle glaring at me over Esme's shoulder so I decided to tell them.

"These guys beat me up"

Esme let go of me and looked up in concern. "Why would they do that?"

I shrugged. Just as I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and Alice and Emmett entered the room.

"What's everyone yelling about?" Emmett asked in annoyance.

They both stopped in shock when they saw my face. This was seriously starting to get old.

"Edw…" Alice started to ask.

"I got beat up but I'm fine ok. Everyone can stop worrying" I said quickly

"Where have you been all night? Your mother and I have been worried sick" Carlisle asked his eyes searching mine.

I looked down. "I was at Bella's" I mumbled

They all looked at me in confusion.

"What?" Esme asked

I took a deep breath "I was at Bella's". I heard a squeal from behind me and I turned and saw Alice jumping up and down.

"I knew it" she said happily "I knew you two would be perfect for each other. So…" she started to continue but Carlisle cut her off.

"Alice please" he looked at me "Why were you at Bella's?"

I shrugged.

"Edward" Esme said warningly

"I just…I didn't want to come home and worry you" I said softly

Carlisle groaned "But Edward you ended up worrying us more. We had no idea where you were. Jesus you could have ran away or been dead some where" the volume of his voice was rising.

I looked at the ground "Look at me damn it" he yelled in frustration

I looked up straight away and felt an irrational feeling of fear. I stepped back quickly.

"Carlisle" Esme said quickly and grabbed his arm "Come on" she pulled him towards the table and pushed him into a seat.

He put his head in his hands and whispered "I can't take this Esme I really can't"

I stood there frozen feeling nothing but shame. I couldn't take that I was making him feel like this.

I looked at Emmett and Alice who were both looking back at me. Alice's face was filled with nothing but concern but Emmett's was filled with fury. I looked away quickly.

"What is your problem Edward?" Emmett asked his voice shaking with anger.

"Emmett" Esme said warningly

"No Mum. I want to know why he is like this" he looked at me again "You think you're the only one who's lost your parents? Alice and I both lost ours to in case you've forgotten. And we still act like human beings"

I stayed silent I knew he had to get this out.

"You never smile, you barely talk, and you don't cry or even look anybody in the eye. Even us! Where you're family and you barely acknowledge us. Why can't you ever just be happy?"

Something snapped inside of me and before I could stop myself.

I yelled "I don't know what happiness is"

There was silence.

I stood silently my hands shaking. I realised what I said was not completely true I had felt happy with Bella.

I cursed myself silently I shouldn't have said anything this could only make things worse.

Carlisle broke the silence "Edward I think you should go back to therapy"

"No"

"Edward"

"No" I said firmly. There was no way I was going back.

"Look" Esme said I could see tears in her eyes "We don't have to talk about this now. We can decide later when everyone's not so worked up"

Everyone nodded.

I looked up and saw that Emmett didn't look angry anymore but was staring at the floor with a look of…regret.

Alice walked towards me and pulled me into a hug "You'll be happy with Bella" she whispered in my ear.

I nodded slightly and she released me. Everyone walked out of the room until only Carlisle and I remained. His face was still in his hands.

I walked hesitantly towards him. It took all my strength to place my shaking hand onto his shoulder.

"I'm sorry" I whispered. It was small but it was all I could offer him.

Bella's POV

I slept soundly after Edward left. I hugged the pillow he had been using which smelled exactly like him. I was excited about going to school, as always, the excitement was to see Edward.

When I got there I was immediately ambushed by Alice who was beyond excited.

"Tell me everything" she said grabbing my hand

"What?" I asked confused

"With Edward silly. I know he spent the night, there was this huge fight at my house this morning"

"Oh no" I said concerned "Are your parents mad? Is Edward ok?"

She seemed to lose her excitement for a moment and her eyes suddenly turned sad.

"I'm not sure things….were weird some things were said and….look Bella I don't really want to talk about it. Can we just talk about something happy?" she pleaded.

I couldn't let her down so I told her everything.

I only caught glimpses of Edward during the morning. He looked tired and sad but when he saw me he smiled his sweet smile that made my heart stop. I didn't have a chance to speak to him until History class where I asked if he was alright. He said he didn't want to speak about it at school but asked me to come over that afternoon. He held my hand under the desk through the whole lesson. Needless to say I didn't listen to a single word the teacher said.

After school I drove to Edward's house. Even though Alice had driven me there previously I still drove past the turnoff and had to turn around and come back.

I knocked on the door expecting Edward to answer but Esme answered instead.

"Hi Bella darling, come on in, how are you?" she asked. She looked exhausted I followed her into the house.

"Good thanks" I said hoping she wasn't mad at me for Edward staying at my house last night.

"I think Alice is out"

"Oh no, I was here to see Edward"

"Oh of course" she said and she looked at me carefully "Bella you really like him don't you?"

I nodded.

"Just be careful ok sweetie…I don't want either of you to get hurt"

"I will" I said seriously

"Well he's in his room. You know the way right?"

I nodded "Thanks"

I walked up the stairs and down the hall way towards his room. It was slightly ajar so I knocked softly and pushed it open.

I walked into the room and gasped in surprise and than in horror.

Edward was standing with his back to me without his shirt on. There was still fresh bruises covering his back but that's not what horrified me. On the small of his back there was a cluster of what looked like burns. They were small and looked old. They looked exactly like cigarette burns.

Edward turned around when I gasped and looked at me in surprise but when he saw my face his expression turned to terrified. He pulled his shirt on over his head and walked towards me slowly.

"Bella" he said softly his voice filled with pain.

**AN: Review, review, review please!!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything.**

**AN: Sorry this took so long. I hope you enjoy it.**

Chapter 13

Bella's POV

I stood there staring at him, my mouth hanging open. He walked towards me and with a shaking hand reached forward slowly and took my hand.

"Edward" I said tentatively.

He looked at me but his eyes were unfocused as he avoided eye contact.

"I saw the burns on your back" I whispered softly. I squeezed his hand hoping it would encourage him to speak.

He looked down at our joined hands and let mine go slowly. "Say something" I said desperately.

He walked to his bed and sat down, he was breathing deeply and the look on his face was devastating.

"Bella I…" he said and than he paused and looked down at his hands. "I…didn't want you to see that"

I walked towards him slowly but he didn't look up. Once I reached his bed I placed my hand cautiously on his shoulder. He still maintained his focus on his hands.

"Edward was it your…biological father who did this to you?" I asked gently.

He jumped up suddenly "No!" he yelled. I jumped back in fear, having not anticipated this reaction.

He paced around the room his face in his hands. He was breathing deeply as though he was trying to calm himself down.

"Edward" I said my voice cracking with emotion.

"Bella…I'm sorry…I just can't…you don't" he stumbled over his words. He had a crazed look in his eyes as he racked his hands through his hair.

He took a deep breath but still avoided looking me in the eye. "Can you please just forget what you saw" he said desperately.

"No. Edward I can't just…" I started to say but he cut me off.

"It's none of your business!" he shouted in frustration. I flinched back, wounded by his words. My eyes filled with tears. Didn't he see how much I cared for him? How could this not be my business?

"Edward you've been hurt and I just want to help you" I said trying to fight the tears from falling. I walked towards him and tried to take his hand.

But to my dismay he pulled his hand out of my reach and took a step back. I let my hand fall to my side and stood there in shock.

"I think you should go" he whispered speaking to the floor.

"You don't mean that" I whispered softly tears streaming down my face "You can't even look at me. Look me in the eye and say it"

He looked up and stared straight in to my eyes. His eyes were filled with anger and as always a heart breaking sadness. "I want you to go" he said softly but more firmly than before. His words were like a knife to my heart. I even pulled my hand up to my chest as I felt my heart break.

I looked at him for a moment as his gaze held mine never wavering.

I turned around slowly and walked out of his room, shutting the door softly behind me.

_I want you to go, _his words repeated themselves in my mind all the way home and I wondered if he knew that they had destroyed me.

Edward's POV

I was getting changed when suddenly I heard a soft knock on my door. I barely had time to think let alone pull my shirt back on. I heard footsteps enter the room and I hoped whoever it was wouldn't take any notice of my back. I had always been careful not to let anyone see me with my shirt off even my family. When I was adopted I was old enough to dress myself so there was no reason for anyone in my family to see them.

I turned around quickly and to my horror there stood Bella. Her face was shocked; I could only imagine what she was thinking.

I pulled my shirt back on and walked towards her slowly.

"Bella" I said although I didn't know what to say.

I reached out my hand wanting to touch her once more. I knew it was only a matter of time before this ended.

"Edward" she said softly sounding nervous.

I looked up at her but I couldn't bring myself to look into her beautiful eyes. I was scared of what I would see there, disgust at my scars, pain, or worst of all pity.

"I saw the burns on your back" she whispered. I felt her squeeze my hand.

I looked down at our hands. Her small one wrapped around my bigger one. I knew if I held on to her I would never be able to do what I had to do.

"Say something" she said sounding desperate.

I walked over to my bed hoping to get some distance from her.

"Bella I…" I said hoping in vain to find something to say to make this all right again. "I… didn't want you to see that"

I heard her walking towards me and felt her warm hand touch my shoulder. Her touching me was the best feeling in the world but I still couldn't look up and instead stared at my hands.

"Edward was it your…biological father who did this to you" she asked gently.

I felt my heart begin racing and my hands start to sweat. Why would she mention my father?

I jumped up and yelled "No" before I could stop myself.

I could tell I had scared her and that made me felt, if possible, even worse. I paced around the room trying to calm myself down.

"Edward" she said and I felt ashamed at the pain I heard.

"Bella…I'm sorry…I just can't…you don't" I said making absolutely no sense.

I took a deep breath and avoided her eyes. Not wanting to see her disappointment at me or her questions that I knew I could never answer for her.

"Can you please just forget what you saw?" I said desperately. Clinging to the impossible hope that she would say yes and we could get back to how it was before.

"No. Edward I can't just…" I interrupted her not wanting to hear anymore.

"It's none of your business!" I shouted in frustration. I knew this would hurt her but I had to get her to leave.

She flinched and looked as though she had been slapped. I saw her eyes fill with tears and all I wanted to do was hold her and make sure she never cried again.

"Edward you've been hurt and I just want to help you" she said. What she didn't know was that nothing could help me. If she knew the truth she would run.

She walked towards me and tried to take my hand.

It took all I had to take a step back.

"I think you should go" I whispered staring at the floor.

"You don't mean that" she whispered back. "You can't even look at me. Look me in the eye and say it"

I then did the single hardest thing I had ever done in my life. I looked her in the eyes and I lied.

"I want you to go" I said trying to sound firm.

She stepped back and grabbed her chest as though she was in pain. I didn't look away from her eyes.

She turned around slowly and walked out of the room. Taking what was left of my heart with her.

I stood there for what could have been minutes or hours. I felt numb. When I started to feel things again I felt a pain building up in my chest slowly and rising into my throat. I made a sound like a wounded animal and I felt a burning behind my eyes. I sank to my knees and held my hands to my eyes trying to stop the tears from falling. When this didn't work I curled up in a ball and just cried. I hadn't cried or felt this kind of emotion since I was a little kid and that scared the hell out of me.

Bella's POV

When I arrived home the tears were still streaming down my face. Luckily Charlie was still at work so he wouldn't see me like this.

I collapsed on my bed crying my eyes out. I had lost Edward and I was devastated. I punched my pillow angrily. I was angry at whoever had hurt Edward and had made him like this. And I was also angry at Edward for not trusting me. I loved him more than anything in the world and it hurt that he didn't seem to feel the same way.

I lay there for awhile thinking about something my Mum had always said to me "When you find love, hold onto it because it is the best thing in the entire world". I couldn't let him go. He had to know how I felt about him.

I jumped up and hurried to my car before I lost my nerve.

When I arrived back at his house I saw that the car from the driveway was gone so Esme must have gone out. I walked quickly into the house scared that if I knocked Edward wouldn't let me in.

I walked up the stairs and to his door. I took a deep breath and knocked softly. There was no answer. I could hear noises coming from inside the room so I pushed the door open gently.

What I saw made my eyes fill back up with tears. Edward was lying on the floor sobbing. It was the most agonizing sight I had ever seen.

I walked over to him and sat down next to him. He didn't move, his sobs becoming quieter. I slowly wrapped my arms around him pulling him towards me. He froze for a moment and for a terrifying second I thought he might push me away but instead he wrapped his arms around me almost painfully.

"It's ok" I whispered softly into his hair rubbing his back.

"Bella" he sobbed quietly into my chest. His chest was shaking with anguish and the sounds he was making, I knew would haunt me for the rest of my life. I couldn't stand to see him this upset.

"I'm sorry" he whispered "I didn't want to hurt you…but Bella I cant…I just cant" his sobs became louder and he clung on to me even tighter.

"I know" I whispered "You don't have to tell me anything. Not if you're not ready" I looked down at his beautiful face. There were tears trailing down his flushed cheeks and I wiped them away slowly, there was something not right about this devastating sadness on something so beautiful.

He continued to cry quietly and all I could do was hold him. After awhile he seemed to stop and we just held each other for what seemed like hours.

I knew Charlie would be wondering where I was so I reluctantly told Edward.

He gripped onto me tighter "No. Please stay Bella" he said panicking.

"Ok" I said not wanting him to get upset again. "I just need to call him ok?" he nodded against my chest and hesitantly let me go. I got up swaying slightly from my legs being asleep. I pulled out my phone and called Charlie telling him I was staying at Alice's for the night.

I looked back at Edward who was still sitting on the floor. He was still beautiful even though his face was flushed and tear stained and his clothes where rumpled.

I sat on the bed.

"Come on" I said trying to sound cheerful "It'll be much more comfortable up here"

He looked up at me and for a second he smiled slightly. He got up and lay down next to me pulling me quickly into his arms as though he never wanted to let go.

I put my head on his chest hugging him tightly. I suddenly remembered why I had come here. I pulled myself up and looked into his face. His hair was hanging into his eyes so I pushed it back gently. He leaned towards me to kiss me and I pulled back for a moment. He looked at me in surprise but I held up my hand.

"I wanted to tell you something" I said looking into his eyes. He looked back in confusion and waited.

"I…" I started suddenly becoming nervous "I love you" I whispered averting my eyes.

He didn't say anything. I looked up terrified but when I saw his face I felt my heart fill with joy. His expression was one of pure happiness something I had never seen him look before. If I could have bottled up the look he had on his face in that moment I would have kept it with me for the rest of my life.

He leaned towards me a kissed me deeply. I responded immediately. After a moment he pulled away again and whispered softly to me.

"I love you too. More than you could ever know".

**AN: Please review!! thanks!!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything.**

Chapter 14

Bella's POV

The next morning I woke up to the most amazing sight, Edward's beautiful face. He lay next to me as though he had been watching me sleep. Although I had to admit it was a bit disconcerting to wake up to someone staring at you so intently. I pushed his arm lightly.

"Whatcha doing creepy" I mumbled "Watching me sleep?"

He smiled slightly and nodded, his eyes never leaving mine. I shifted over and wrapped my arms around him, taking in his beautiful smell. I sighed quietly I could most definitely get used to this.

He rubbed my back and buried his face in my hair.

"We have to get ready for school soon" he whispered.

I groaned "Nooo I want to stay here"

He chuckled quietly "I do to, but we have to go they might ring your dad"

I pulled back and looked at his face. He looked tired and there were black circles under his eyes. I reached my hand out and traced them with my finger.

"Couldn't you sleep?" I asked in concern.

He looked away and shook his head slightly.

"Why?" I asked confused. He shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm fine"

I could tell he wasn't telling me everything but I decided not to push it.

Edward's POV

I spent the night, after Bella had comforted me, just watching her sleep; it was surprisingly easy not to fall asleep as I didn't want to miss a thing. She slept peacefully for a couple of hours but I could tell when she started to dream. Her eyelids would flutter slightly and she would mumble. My heart swelled when I heard her mumble my name.

Early in the morning she awoke and I could tell she was concerned about my lack of sleep but I was thankful when she let it go. Last night she had told me she wouldn't push me to tell her about my past but she seemed confident I would when I was ready. I didn't tell her that I doubted that day would come.

Bella's POV

The next couple of weeks were bliss. Edward and I spent nearly all of our time together. The biggest surprise to me came a couple of days after we were officially together. He began to sit with us at lunch. At first I wanted to sit with him alone but he said he didn't want me to miss sitting with Alice and the others so he came and sat with us. At first it was awkward especially between Emmett and Edward but Alice as always got everyone talking and everyday it got easier and more comfortable. Edward didn't speak much he mostly just held my hand and whispered to me quietly but it was nice to see him interacting with his siblings and Jasper and Rosalie.

I often stayed the night with him. I told my dad I was sleeping over at Alice's and he didn't suspect anything. Alice was very suspicious of what Edward and I got up to during our nights together but they were mostly always innocent.

I wanted to go further. I made sure to wear my best underwear hoping Edward would also be ready. When I arrived he got this crooked, breathtaking smile on his face and I wondered not for the first time what it was about me that evoked this emotion in him. I rarely saw him display any emotion towards anything but with me it was written plainly on his face.

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me on my forehead.

"I missed you" he whispered softly.

I laughed quietly, not wanting to wake his parents, as I wasn't to sure how they would react to me sleeping in their sons room. "You saw me a couple of hours ago"

"I know" he replied rubbing my back "it was to long"

I smiled into his chest "I missed you too"

He put a finger under my chin and raised my face to meet his. He placed his lips on mine and kissed me softly. I pulled him further towards me, kissing him harder and tangling my fingers into his silky hair. He kissed me back just as hard and walked forward until my knees hit the bed and I fell bringing him on top of me.

We kissed passionately his hands rubbing my sides gently. He never went further than this and tonight I wanted to change that. I grabbed his hand gently and placed it under my shirt. He froze for a moment but then rubbed smooth circles on my stomach gradually moving higher and higher. I moaned softly and I felt him smile under my lips. I could feel something hard pressing into my leg and I felt a warm tingling feeling in my stomach. His hand brushed the edge of my bra and his hands began to move back down to my stomach. I placed my hand back over his and brought it back up until it was resting on my breast. His hand froze once again and he pulled away. I looked up into his face and noticed it was slightly pink.

"B…Bella" he stumbled "are you sure?" I nodded and pulled his face back to mine. I felt his hand move over my breast kneading it softly through my bra. I moaned again. I reached down and pulled my shirt over my head and than I brought my hands behind my back and pulled off my bra. Edward pulled away and looked at me in what looked like awe.

"Bella…your so beautiful" I blushed slightly as he lowered his mouth to kiss my breasts moaning as he did. I arched my back enjoying the feeling of his mouth on me.

I could feel him becoming even harder against my leg so I reached down slowly and began rubbing him through his pants. He froze on top of me his mouth leaving my chest. I rubbed him a bit more and he stayed frozen. I slowly removed my hand and pulled his face up so I could see it.

"Edward what…?" I started to say but I was at a loss of words when I saw his face. He looked terrified.

"Are you ok? I'm sorry if…" I started to say. Did he not want me to touch him there? Was I doing something wrong?

"No…I'm just…not ready" he mumbled softly rolling off me. I felt tears prickling my eyes. He must have seen them because he pulled me towards him and hugged me tightly.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked tearfully

"No…God no…its me I just don't think I'm ready"

I nodded slightly.

He held my face between his hands "Don't be sad please Bella" he sounded miserable.

I nodded slightly and kissed him.

I took his word for it that he was not ready and inside I knew I didn't want to read too much into this.

Edward's POV

Bella was staying the night with me. Whenever she stayed the night I found myself barely able to contain my excitement and happiness. She walked into my room as always looking like an angel. I smiled at her and she smiled her amazing smile back. I knew I wanted to see that smile for the rest of my life.

I had to touch her, so I pulled her into my arms and kissed her forehead.

"I missed you" I whispered

She laughed her beautiful laugh. "You saw me a couple of hours ago"

_Yeah and to me they felt like years _

"I know" I replied rubbing her back "it was to long" _way too long_

"I missed you too" she replied and I smiled

I raised her face to mine and did what I had been dying to do since she arrived. I pulled her in for a kiss which she responded to immediately. I walked us forward so that she fell onto the bed with me on top.

We kissed for awhile and I rubbed her sides. I didn't think there would be ever a better feeling than kissing Bella. To my surprise she grabbed my hand and placed it under her shirt I stopped in shock as I felt her silky, perfect skin. I rubbed circles into her flat stomach slowly moving them higher. I felt her moan and it was the sweetest sound in the world. When my fingers brushed against her bra I moved my hand back down not wanting to go too far. But again to my surprise Bella placed my hand on her breast. I was shocked pulling my hand away. I felt my face flush slightly.

"B…Bella" he stuttered "are you sure?"

She nodded and pulled my face back to hers. I touched her breasts, my breathing becoming deeper and a certain part of my body becoming harder. I knead it gently through her bra. I heard her moan and all I wanted to do was make her do it again.

Bella reached down and pulled her shirt over her head and before I knew it she was pulling off her bra freeing her breasts. I pulled back to get a better view. She was so beautiful, everything about her was perfect.

"Bella…you're so beautiful" I said and saw that she blushed a little. I smiled and lowered my mouth to her breasts and began kissing them. I let out a small moan as she arched her back giving me better access.

I felt her reach down and begin rubbing me through my pants. I froze as I felt my hear rate increase and my palms begin to sweat. I couldn't move flashes of memories flashed in my mind "_Edward you'll like it", "Doesn't it feel good". _I felt her rub me more and I couldn't move not even to tell her to stop. I felt her remove her hand and pull my face up to see hers. She looked concerned and I tried to change my expression because I knew I must look scared.

"Edward what…?" she started to say and I knew she had seen my face when she stopped.

Are you ok? I'm sorry if…" she started. She looked scared as though she had done something wrong I felt ashamed that I had made her think that. This was not her fault.

"No…I'm just…not ready" I mumbled rolling off her. I saw tears in her eyes and I felt more self-loathing I pulled her towards me wanting to make her feel better.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked her voice cracking

"No…God no…its me I just don't think I'm ready" I said

She nodded. But I couldn't tell if she believed me.

I pulled her face into my hands "Don't be sad please Bella" _I couldn't bare it._

She nodded again and I knew I was forgiven when she kissed me.

That night as she slept in my arms I felt anger and loathing at myself. I couldn't even cope with my girlfriend touching me. I was broken and I didn't know what it would take for me to heal.

**AN: Please review!!**

**I will try to update soon. Thanks to everyone who has review this story i really appreciate it.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyear owns everything**

Chapter 15

Bella's POV

Edward wasn't sleeping.

At least not when he was with me, when I slept over he was always awake when I fell asleep and always awake when I woke up. He looked tired all day. When I didn't sleep over he looked well rested.

I wasn't sure what was going on. I tried to talk to him but he just kissed me and said he was fine.

"Bella?" Edward asked me one day while I was making us lunch. "Do you want to go out to dinner tonight?"

I looked up in surprise. We didn't usually go out; mostly we just went to each others houses.

"Like a date?" I asked smiling

He ducked his head and smiled slightly "Yeah like a date" _He is so cute_

I walked over to him and sat in his lap "Where are we going to go?"

"To dinner" he said leaning forward and kissing me on the nose.

I groaned softly "Do I have to dress up?"

He laughed gently "Alice said to come over at four so she could help you get dressed"

I groaned again and buried my face in his shoulder "Edward! She's just going to give me a makeover and complain about how 'I know nothing about fashion'" he laughed again pulling me closer.

"She wouldn't take no for an answer but I made her promise not to go overboard"

Alice, not going overboard, not likely I thought to myself.

I arrived at the Cullen's house at four. Alice answered the door looking furious.

"Bella" she hissed "your late"

I looked at my watch in confusion it said 4:02. I held my watch out to Alice "Seriously?" I asked incredulously "two minutes past?"

She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside "We need all the time we can get" I followed her not knowing whether to be offended or not.

The next two hours consisted of Alice and Rose, who was waiting in Alice's room, pampering me and doing my hair and my makeup. During the process they would not allow me to look in any mirrors so I was afraid of what the end result would be like.

Finally Alice announced that they were finished. She walked over to her closet and pulled out a black dress. "Alice…I dunno" I said eying the low neckline. It didn't look like something I would wear or even be able to pull off.

"Bella" she said disapprovingly as she handed me the dress "It's going to look perfect, trust me"

"Fine" I sighed and started pulling off my clothes. Once I pulled it on Alice led me to the mirror to take a look. My jaw dropped the reflection in the mirror looked nothing like me. I looked…pretty, my hair was curled softly around my face, the makeup around my eyes made them look bigger and brighter, I looked down at my dress and speaking of bigger. I actually had cleavage.

Alice and Rose walked up beside me giggling softly "Like what you see" Alice teased "I told you the dress would look good. Edward's going to love it"

I blushed slightly and smiled at them "Thanks guys" I pulled them into a hug.

Alice laughed "It's six. Edward will be waiting"

"Oh right" I said and moved to walk out of the room but Rose grabbed me before I reached the door.

"Wait don't forget these" she said handing me a pair of silver high heeled shoes.

"That would've been a shame wouldn't it?" I mumbled taking the shoes from her and strapping them on.

"Have fun" they both said as I was walking out the door. I smiled back at them.

I walked towards Edward's room nervous of what his reaction would be.

I pushed open the door. His room was empty but I could hear water running in his bathroom so I knew Edward must be in there. After a moment I heard the water being turned off and then the bathroom door opened.

Edward walked out and he froze when he saw me. He looked perfect as always he was dressed in a blue button down shirt and jeans.

He looked me up and down and I couldn't help but notice his eyes linger on my cleavage.

I blushed furiously and looked down at my toes.

"Bella" he said his voice sounding croaky "you look…beautiful"

I looked up at him smiling at me sweetly.

I smiled back "So do you" he chuckled softly and walked towards me.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me deeply. I responded immediately melting in to him. After awhile he drew back.

"We should go" he sounded reluctant. I pulled his face back down to me and kissed him again.

"How about we just stay here" I whispered into his mouth.

He kissed me back but then pulled back again "Come on we'll be late" he said and grabbed my hand puling me after him.

"Fine" I grumbled and he chuckled again.

"So where are we going?" I asked as he opened the car door for me.

"To the Italian restaurant" he replied starting the car.

"Yay" I said clapping my hands "my favourite"

He smiled at me and as always my breath caught in my chest "I know"

When we arrived at the restaurant I couldn't help but notice the amount of attention Edward got from females. They were constantly checking him out. I even caught the waitress who was showing us to our table checking out his butt. I resisted the urge to scream at her that no one got to check out his ass but me. What I couldn't get over was that Edward didn't even seem to notice, the only person he looked at was me this made me fall in love with him all over again. He barely even spoke to the waitress, just a mumbled thankyou.

"It's so rude" I said after the skanky waitress had taken our order.

"What?" he said with an adorable confused look on his face.

"How they just…ogle you right in front of me"

"Ogle me?" he said scrunching up his face "Why would they do that?"

I laughed thinking he was joking but he kept looking at me in confusion.

"Come on" I said in disbelief "Look at you" I waved my hand at him.

He looked at me with a weird expression like he didn't believe what I was saying. How could he not know how beautiful he is?

"Their probably wondering what a beautiful girl like you is doing with a loser like me" he said looking at his hands.

I looked back at him he had to be joking "More like the other way around" I mumbled softly.

He looked up as though he was going to respond but I cut him off quickly wanting to change the subject.

We talked a bit about school until the food arrived.

While we were eating I tried to get him to open up a bit. We mostly always talked about me as he always changed the subject when I asked about him.

"So" I said slowly I decided to ask something easy "When you were a little kid what did you want to be when you grew up?"

He didn't say anything for a moment concentrating on his pasta "I don't remember" he replied.

"Come on, you had to have wanted to be something like a fireman or a police man. I know I always wanted to be an astronaut"

He smiled softly "You would make a cute astronaut"

I sighed "Edward please, I just want to know everything about you"

He was silent "Bella, really I don't remember"

"Ok" I sighed again. I guess he wasn't going to open up tonight.

We sat in silence until we had finished our dinners. "You ready to go?" Edward asked.

I nodded.

He paid the cheque and we left the restaurant. As we were leaving I saw the waitress slip a piece of paper to Edward. He looked at it and I saw that it had her phone number on it.

He handed the paper back to her without a word, wrapped his arm tightly around my waist and pulled me towards the door. I looked back and glared at the waitress who looked embarrassed.

I laughed quietly as we walked out. He smiled back and pulled me into a kiss.

"Do you want to get ice cream?" he asked as we were walking past the ice cream place. I nodded happily.

As we were waiting to order I saw Edward glaring at someone. I turned around and saw a guy a little older then us. He was staring straight at me, he had greasy brown hair and something about him made him look creepy.

"Edward" I said pulling him forward.

"He's staring straight at you" he replied shaking in anger.

"Just ignore him" I said as we walked towards the counter to order.

I ordered a vanilla cone and Edward ordered a chocolate one. When we turned around to leave I saw that the creepy guy had left.

When we were outside Edward started patting his pockets "Shit" he said.

"What"

"I left my wallet inside" he turned around "I'll be right back"

"Ok" I said as he walked back towards the ice cream place.

I looked around there wasn't many people around as it was getting late. I heard my phone beep. I started to reach into my bag to pull it out when if felt someone grab my arm. I dropped my ice cream as someone pulled me into the ally way.

"What" I started to shriek but was stopped when a hand clamped down on my mouth. I was face to face with the creepy guy from before.

"Hey beautiful" he said. I started to squirm trying to get away from him but he was too strong "Your boyfriend sure is stupid leaving you alone"

I felt tears prickling my eyes and I tried to bite his hand. He pulled his hand away and before I could scream he pushed his mouth onto mine. I trashed my head around trying to get way from him but he grabbed my throat painfully and forced me to stay still. He placed his hand back over my mouth.

"Com on baby you know you want it. Look at what you're wearing" he said as he pointed towards my dress "you're just asking for it" he grabbed one of my breasts painfully in his hand I felt my tears running down my face.

His hand started to move up my thigh but he was suddenly ripped off me. I fell to the ground in relief as I saw Edward, he looked murderously angry.

He walked over to the guy who was on the ground and started punching him.

"Don't you ever touch her" he yelled at the guy while he kicked him in the stomach "You pathetic piece of shit" he continued to beat the shit out of the guy and I could tell he wasn't going to stop.

"Edward!" I cried out. I couldn't let him kill him. This guy wasn't worth Edward going to jai for.

He turned around his hands covered in the guy's blood. He seemed to realise what was happening. He ran towards me and kneeled in front of me.

"Bella baby are you ok? I'm so sorry" he sobbed as he grabbed my face in his hands.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his neck. I felt myself shaking. "I'm ok now" I whispered.

He hugged me to him tightly and we sat there for a moment.

Suddenly we heard a car starting up behind us and speeding away Edward turned around in alarm the guy must had parked his car in the ally way.

"Shit" Edward said angrily "Bella we have to go to the police"

"No" I said firmly "I don't want my Dad to worry"

Edward sighed and I could tell he didn't agree "Ok" he said "Are you sure you're ok?"

I nodded slightly

"I'm never leaving you on your own ever again" Edward promised kissing me softly.

"Good" I whispered back.

Edward's POV

I wanted to take Bella on a date. We had never gone out anywhere so I wanted to take her somewhere special. I had asked Alice what food was Bella's favourite and she told me it was Italian. Alice then had insisted that she get to dress Bella for the evening, I at first refused knowing Bella wouldn't like it but Alice wouldn't take no as an answer. She annoyed and bugged me until I gave in. Although she did promise not to go too far, somehow I doubted that.

She had also picked out what I was to wear as she claimed I didn't know how to dress myself properly. After feeling slightly offended I looked at what she had picked out and decided that it would look alright.

I was finishing getting ready and was ready to go and meet Bella but as I walked out of my bathroom I froze. Bella was already standing in my room. She looked so beautiful. Her hair was softly curled and her eyes looked even bigger than normal. I looked her up and down and my eyes lingered on her chest. The dress was cut low and you could see the tops of her breasts, all I wanted to do was throw her on the bed and take her dress off. I looked up and saw her face was pink and she was staring at her feet. I hoped she hadn't seen me staring at her breasts.

"Bella" I said my voice hoarse "you look…beautiful" beautiful was an understatement.

She looked at me with her smile that made my knees weak.

"So do you" she said and I laughed I couldn't even compare to her.

I walked towards her unable to keep my hands off her for much longer and wrapped my arms around her and kissed her. She responded immediately and pulled me in harder. After a moment I stopped and pulled back "We should go" I said reluctantly but she pulled me back for another kiss.

"How about we just stay here" she whispered seductively.

_Ok _I wanted to say and I kissed her back but I knew I wasn't ready for what I knew would happen if we stayed. "Come on we'll be late" I said and pulled her after me.

"Fine" she grumbled and I laughed at how cute she was.

"So where are we going?" she asked as she slid into the car.

"To the Italian restaurant" I replied as I started the car.

"Yay" she said clapping her hands "My favourite"

I smiled at her "I know"

Once we arrived at the restaurant I noticed how close the waitress seemed to be standing next to me and started to feel uncomfortable. I tried to distance myself from her.

"It's so rude" Bella said after the waitress had taken our orders.

"What?" I asked confused was she talking about me?

"How they just…ogle you right in front of me"

"Ogle me?" I said what was she talking about? "Why would they do that?"

She laughed but I was still confused.

"Come on" she said as though in disbelief "Look at you" she waved her hand at me as thought to prove her point. She couldn't mean for the way I looked, there was nothing attractive about me.

"Their probably wondering what a beautiful girl like you is doing with a loser like me" I said looking at my hands.

"More like the other way around" she mumbled. I looked up in shock ready to tell her she was crazy she was the most exquisite creature in the world and I was disgusting.

She changed the subject quickly to something about school and we didn't talk about it again.

"So" Bella said slowly once the food had arrived "When you were a little kid what did you want to be when you grew up?"

I froze just like I always did when someone brought up my childhood I concentrated on my food "I don't remember" I replied which was true.

"Come on, you had to have wanted to be something like a fireman or a police man. I know I always wanted to be an astronaut"

I smiled softly imagining her as an astronaut "You would make a cute astronaut"

She sighed "Edward please I just want to know everything about you"

I stayed silent "Bella really I don't remember"

"Ok" She sighed again.

What did I want to be when I was a kid? Anybody but me.

We sat in silence I fretted silently wondering if she was mad at me.

"You ready to go?" I asked once we were done.

She nodded.

Once I paid the cheque and we started to leave I wondered if I should grab her hand but I was scared she would pull away and I knew that would kill apart of me. As we walked past the waitress she gave me a piece of paper. I looked at it and saw that it had her phone number on it. I couldn't believe she would give me that while I was obviously on a date.

I handed it back to her without saying anything. I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and pulled her towards the door.

I heard Bella laughed quietly and I knew she wasn't angry with me. I smiled back at her and pulled her into a kiss.

"Do you want to get ice cream?" I asked as we walked past the ice cream place. She nodded adorably.

As we were waiting to order I saw a guy looking at Bella intently with a determined look on his face. I glared at him, how dare he look at her like that. I wanted to punch him and tell him to never look at her again. I saw Bella look towards him and she turned around and pulled me forward.

"Edward" she said warningly

"He's staring straight at you" I said angrily.

"Just ignore him" she said as we walked towards the counter to order.

Once we had got our ice creams we noticed the guy had gone _good _I thought.

When we were outside I realised I had left my wallet in the store "Shit" I said.

"What"

"I left my wallet inside, I'll be right back"

"Ok" she said as I walked back towards the ice cream place. Once I got inside I asked the girl at the counter if she had seen my wallet she said she had to ask the owner. I waited for a couple of minutes until the owner came out and asked me for my name. Once I had told him he handed over the wallet.

"Thanks" I said and walked back out of the store. I couldn't see Bella anywhere. I wondered if she had gone to wait at the car. I started to walk towards the car when I saw her ice cream lying on the ground. My stomach clenched _something was wrong_. I heard a voice coming from the ally way near where I had left Bella.

"Com on baby you know you want it" the voice said "Look at what you're wearing, you're just asking for it" my blood ran cold as I realised it was Bella pinned into the wall. I started to run towards them when I saw the sick bastard grab her breasts and move his hand up her thigh. I was going to kill him. I grabbed him and with all my strength ripped him off her. I walked over to him and started punching him in the face I felt the blood start to pour from his nose.

"Don't you ever touch her" I screamed at him and started to kick him in the stomach "You pathetic piece of shit" I wasn't going to stop until I had made him pay for what he had done.

"Edward!" I heard Bella cry out.

I turned around and saw my angel sitting on the ground, tears running down her cheeks and her eyes begging me to stop before I did something I'd regret. I ran towards her and kneeled in front of her.

"Bella baby are you ok? I'm so sorry" I grabbed her face in my hands needing to make sure she was ok.

She wrapped her arms around me and I felt her kiss my neck. She was shaking. "I'm ok now" she whispered.

I hugged her tightly never wanting to let go.

Suddenly we heard a car behind us speeding away I turned around. The guy had gone how could we not have heard him get up?

"Shit" I said angrily "Bella we have to go to the police"

"No" she said panicking "I don't want my Dad to worry"

I sighed we couldn't let him get way with it, but I would do whatever she asked. "Ok" I said "Are you sure you're ok?"

She nodded.

"I'm never leaving you on your own ever again" I promised and kissed her softly.

"Good" she whispered back.

Bella's POV

Edward stayed true to his word, insisting on staying the night especially since Charlie was away for the weekend. I was grateful, I didn't know how I would cope being alone.

Edward held my hand the whole way home glancing at me every few moments to check if I was ok. I was still shaken from what had happened but I felt completely safe with him. When we arrived at my house I went to take a hot shower wanting to wash away where that guy had touched. It had made me feel dirty. Once I was clean I dried myself and put on my pyjamas.

When I walked back out into my room I saw Edward lying on my bed deeply asleep. I smiled at how cute and sweet he looked. I walked over and brushed his hair out of his eyes. I lay down next to him and snuggled in closer and quickly fell asleep.

I was dreaming, as always about Edward, when I was suddenly awoken. I looked around in confusion wondering what had woken me up so suddenly when I heard Edward thrashing around next to me. He was whimpering softly. He kept repeating "No" over and over again and sounded like he was in agony. I rolled towards him just as he yelled out "Please don't" and started sobbing. I couldn't bear for him to be in pain. I shook him gently and placed my hand on his chest. "Edward" I whispered "wake up, it's just a dream".

I heard him shudder and all of a sudden his hand flung out and struck me straight in the face. I shrieked in pain and rolled away from him. I felt him jump up from the bed "Bella?" he said his voice shaking "Oh my God I didn't…I thought….I'm sorry" he reached towards me and I instinctively flinched away.

I heard a sob leave his throat and he ran towards the bathroom and shut the door. I felt tears running down my face. My face throbbed slightly from where his hand had struck it.

I could hear him sobbing from the bathroom. I knew this wasn't his fault. I got up slowly and walked towards the bathroom. I knocked softly.

"Edward" I called "Can I come in?"

I could hear his sobs quieten a little. "Edward" I called a bit louder.

"No" I heard him whisper. "Stay away from me"

I couldn't take the pain I heard in his voice. I pushed the door open and my heart broke, I felt my eyes fill with tears again. He was sitting in front of the bath with his head resting on his knees and his hands pulling at his hair. His shoulders were shaking with the force of his sobs.

I knelt in front of him just as he had done for me only a few hours earlier. "I could never stay away from you" I whispered softly.

He didn't look up but I heard him whisper into his knees "I don't deserve you. You could do so much better"

I grabbed his hands pulling them away from his hair "Never say that" I said furiously.

He sobbed even harder.

"There's no one better for me then you" I whispered.

"Yes there is" he said angrily finally looking up. His beautiful eyes were filled with so much pain I had to look away.

"How about some one who doesn't hurt you? How about someone who doesn't freak out when you try to touch his dick? You can't possibly want me" he said and I felt my tears fall down my cheeks "I'm broken Bella. Can't you see that?" he pulled his hands away and covered his face.

I grabbed his hands back "Edward I love you. I _know _you didn't mean to hit me. You thought I was someone else didn't you?" he closed his eyes and moaned softly "Who did you think I was?"

He sat there silently for a long moment.

"Edward" I asked slowly "Do you love me?"

He opens his eyes suddenly "You know I do" his voice full of emotion.

"Then please tell me" I beg "Who did you think I was?"

He looks at me and I know that he's about to tell me but there is something in his eyes that frightens the hell out of me and I want to walk away. I don't want to hear another word because I know whatever he has to say is going to destroy a part of me.

**AN: Please review!!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything.**

**Thanks everyone who reviewed!! i hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Chapter 16

Edward's POV

_I was sleeping restlessly just as I did every night when I had to stay there. I was awoken suddenly by my bedroom door being pushed opened. I opened my eyes and I felt a sob leave my throat. I heard footsteps approaching my bed and heavy breathing. I clenched my eyes shut clinging hopelessly to thought that maybe if he thought I was asleep he would leave. I felt my sheets being pulled back and the cold air hit my skin. I tried to hold back my whimper. _

"_Eddie" he whispered. I tried to roll further towards the wall, further away from him._

_I felt his hands on my arm pulling me back towards him._

"_Come on Eddie, you know you want to and you know what will happen if you try to fight it" he threatened as he turned me around to face him._

_I knew what would happen; I had the scars on my back to prove it. _

"_No" I whispered hopelessly as I felt his hand slip into my boxers. I felt tears slipping down my face and I started to sob quietly. _

"_Please don't" I pleaded with him. As I felt his hand violating me, doing things that not man should be doing to a young boy and I cried silently. _

I felt a hand on my chest and someone whispering in my ear as I was pulled from my dream. It couldn't be, I thought panicking, it was impossible. I shuddered and all I could think was no, this couldn't happen. I flung my hand out trying to get whoever it was away from me.

I heard a shriek of pain and my heart stopped when I realised that it was Bella. I had hurt Bella. I jumped up in alarm.

"Bella?" I said my voice shaking in horror, how had I fallen asleep? How could I have done this to her?

"Oh my God I didn't…I thought….I'm sorry" I reached towards her trying to see if she was alright. Before I could touch her she flinched away from me and my heart broke.

I felt myself let out a sob and I ran towards the bathroom. I had to get away from what I had done. I slammed the door behind me wishing I could lock it.

I fell to the floor breathless as I cried. How could I have hurt Bella? Sweet, innocent and beautiful Bella. I had promised myself after I had saved her earlier tonight that I would never let anything hurt her and then I went and hurt her myself. I cried louder griping my hair in my hands. I had ruined the only good thing in my life.

I heard a soft knock on the bathroom door.

"Edward" she called "Can I come in?"

I tried to quieten down.

"Edward" she called anxiously.

"No" I whispered she couldn't come near me when all I did was hurt her "Stay away from me" I said a bit louder.

I heard the door open but I couldn't look at her, not after what I had done. I cried harder, I didn't deserve to look at her and see her beauty.

I heard her kneel in front of me "I could never stay away from you" she whispered.

I stared at my knees and said what I had always felt "I don't deserve you. You could do so much better"

She grabbed my hands "Never say that" she said passionately.

I sobbed even more, how could she say that after what I had done?

"There's no one better for me then you" she whispered.

"Yes there is" I said furiously looking up into her eyes, she looked away briefly her eyes sad.

"How about some one who doesn't hurt you?" I asked "How about someone who doesn't freak out when you try to touch his dick? You can't possibly want me" I said feeling even worse at the tears running down her face "I'm broken Bella. Can't you see that?" I pulled my hands out of hers and covered my face; I couldn't stand for her to see me.

She grabbed my hands back "Edward I love you. I _know _you didn't mean to hit me. You thought I was someone else didn't you?" I closed my eyes. "Who did you think I was?"

I sat there contemplating whether to tell her. Maybe if I did she would realise that she couldn't be with me.

"Edward" she asked slowly "Do you love me?"

I opened my eyes in shock "You know I do" _with all my heart_

"Then please tell me" she pleaded "Who did you think I was?"

I looked in to her beautiful tear filled eyes and knew I was going to tell her. I could see the love and concern on her face and I let myself hope, that just maybe, she would be able to love me even after I told her.

Bella's POV

"My grandfather" Edward whispered softly. I gasped in shock I was fully prepared for him to say his father.

"Why did you think it was your grandfather?" I whispered gripping his hand tighter.

Edward took a deep breath and looked down at our joined hands.

"My mother" he started, his voice dead of emotion and his eyes fixed on our hands "was a drug addict and my dad…" he whimpered softly "he killed himself when I was 6"

"My mum used to leave me at my grandfathers house when she was… too high to look after me or if she was out with one of her many boyfriends" I rubbed circles into his hands encouraging him to go on and also dreading what I could see was coming.

"He was my dad's father and he…" he trailed off and seemed to search for something to say "he used to abuse my dad when he was a kid…that's the reason why he was so messed up and why he killed himself"

"My grandmother had died years before I was born so he lived alone. I used to sleep in my fathers old bedroom and every night that I was there…" he started breathing deeper and I could feel his hands were sweating. "Bella I can't…."

I leaned over and held his face in my hands "Its ok, just let it out" I whispered softly my voice shaking.

He looked into my eyes and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the bath.

"He used to come into my room at night and at first he would just…watch me. I would wake up in the middle of the night and find him just staring at me. And then…he would start to touch me and…make me touch him"

I squeezed his hand as more tears rolled down my face I felt anger at his grandfather for putting through this.

"I always tried to stop him but he was too strong" he whimpered "When I would refuse he would use his cigarettes to burn me and said if I told anyone he would kill me"

I moved over and wrapped my arms around him and he cried into my chest.

"It's not your fault" I whispered into his hair.

"Yes it is" he cried out "I should have stopped him or told somebody"

"Edward you were only a kid there was nothing you could do"

He cried harder pulling me tighter against him.

I just held him and I thought he had fallen asleep until he spoke again.

"My father killed himself because of what my grandfather did to him. How do I know I'm not going to turn out the same way?" I gasped. I pulled him up to face me.

"Don't say that Edward! Please that's not going to happen. I'm here for you and where going to get though this together" I said furiously staring into his eyes.

"You still want to be with me even after what I told you?" he sounded generally shocked.

"Of course I do. I love you no matter what" I said kissing him gently.

I pulled him up and led him to my bed and we lay down.

"Edward" I asked softly "What happened to your grandfather?"

He sighed softly "He died when I was 8 just before my mother left and I was put up for adoption…he died in his sleep with no pain"

I was shocked at the injustice that the man had ruined his own son and grandson's lives had died peacefully.

I rubbed his back soothingly "You have to tell your family"

"No"

"Edward" I said stroking his face gently "They have to know"

He looked at me for a long moment "Will you come with me?"

I nodded, I would go anywhere with him. "Tomorrow but now you need to sleep" I kissed his forehead and hugged him to me tightly.

After awhile I heard his breathing even out and I knew he was asleep and soon after I joined him.

Edward's POV

"My grandfather" I whispered softly and I heard Bella gasp.

"Why did you think it was your grandfather?" she asked tightening her grip on my hands.

I took a deep breath and looked at our hands; unable to look at her while I said this.

"My mother" I said still not looking up "was a drug addict and my dad… he killed himself when I was 6" I felt a pain through my heart as I remembered my father. I had loved him so much; the only time I had seen him smile was when he looked at me. His eyes where always sad and full of pain and when I looked in the mirror I saw that they were just like mine.

"My mum used to leave me at my grandfathers house when she was… too high to look after me or if she was out with one of her many boyfriends" _or clients. _I felt Bella rubbing circles into my hand. It calmed me down slightly.

"He was my dad's father and he…" I trailed off "he used to abuse my dad when he was a kid…that's the reason why he was so messed up and why he killed himself" _and left me alone _I thought bitterly

"My grandmother had died years before I was born so he lived alone. I used to sleep in my fathers old bedroom and every night that I was there…" I started panicking "Bella I can't…."

She pulled my face into her hands "Its ok just let it out" her voice shook with emotion

I looked deeply into her eyes, shocked that I didn't see disgust there. I closed my eyes and leaned back.

"He used to come into my room at night and at first he would just…watch me. I would wake up in the middle of the night and find him just staring at me. And then…he would start to touch me and…make me touch him"

I felt her squeeze my hand.

"I always tried to stop him but he was too strong" I said my heart was pounding as I remembered the pain he used to cause me "When I would refuse he would use his cigarettes to burn me and said if I told anyone he would kill me"

I felt Bella wrap her arms around me and I cried into her chest. I couldn't believe that she was still here.

"It's not your fault" she whispered soothingly to me as she rubbed my back.

"Yes it is" I said tearfully "I should have stopped him or told somebody"

"Edward you were only a kid there was nothing you could do"

I cried harder I knew if I had told someone, if I hadn't been so frightened, it would have stopped.

She held me while I cried for a couple of minutes, until I could bring myself to tell her my deepest fear.

"My father killed himself because of what my grandfather did to him. How do I know I'm not going to turn out the same way?" I heard her gasp and she pulled me up so that she could look me straight in the eye.

"Don't say that Edward! Please that's not going to happen. I'm here for you and where going to get though this together" she said sounding determined.

"You still want to be with me even after what I told you?" I asked shocked.

"Of course I do. I love you no matter what" she said and my heart swelled in relief. She leaned forward and kissed me gently.

After that she pulled me up and led me to her bed.

"Edward" she asked after a moment "What happened to your grandfather?"

I sighed "He died when I was 8 just before my mother left and I was put up for adoption…he died in his sleep with no pain"

This was the dark irony of my life; my grandfather who was the worst kind of man, who had ruined so many lives, had died peacefully. While my father who was a good man and been so badly hurt had died in the worst possible way, by his own hand, driven to do so by his own father.

She rubbed my back again "You have to tell your family" she whispered softly

"No" I said almost like a reflex.

"Edward" she said stroking my face lovingly "They have to know"

I looked at her for a moment and realised I would do anything she asked "Will you come with me?" I asked knowing I couldn't do this on my own.

She nodded "Tomorrow but now you need to sleep" she kissed my face gently and hugged me to her tightly.

Soon after I fell into a deep slumber and for the first time in years I didn't have nightmares, I dreamed about the most beautiful girl in the world, the girl who had saved me.

**AN: Please review!!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything**

Chapter 17

Bella's POV

I could feel the warmth of the sun on my face as it shone through my window. I opened my eyes slowly and rolled over to see Edward sleeping peacefully, on his stomach, beside me. His shirt was off and I could see his scars on his lower back. Without thinking I leaned over and kissed them gently. When he moved slightly I panicked and thought he might freak out again, but when I leaned back I saw him looking at me with nothing but love in his eyes.

He smiled sweetly "Hey"

"Hey" I said as I lay back down next to him. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me on the forehead.

"Are you ready?" I whispered into his chest.

He didn't say anything so I looked up and I could see the fear in his eyes but he nodded.

"So we'll have breakfast and then we'll go ok?"

"Ok" he whispered. He sounded terrified and I knew that this would be the hardest thing he has ever had to do but I knew that in the long run it would be worth it.

We went down stairs and I made him pancakes, then we left for his house. I could see his hands shaking as they held the steering wheel.

I placed a hand on his leg "Edward"

He looked across at me.

"Its going to be ok, I'm here"

He nodded and gently picked up my hand and kissed it softly "I know, thanks for….everything really"

When we walked into his house we came across Alice in the kitchen eating breakfast.

"Hey Bella" she said excitedly "I'm glad you're here. I was just about to go shopping and…"

Edward cut her off "Are Carlisle and Esme around? I need to talk to them"

Alice looked confused at our serious expressions and pointed towards the living room "Yeah their both in there"

Edward nodded and pulled me into the room.

Carlisle and Esme were sitting on the lounge watching TV.

"Hey Bella, sweetie how…" Esme started to say but when she saw our faces she stopped.

"Um I need to talk to you guys about something" Edward said softly looking at the ground.

They both looked between us with puzzled looks.

I took Edward over to the lounge and we sat across from them.

"Hey what's going on?" Emmett said as he and Alice walked into the room.

"Edward wants to talk to us" Esme said looking at Edward with concern "Why don't you two give us some privacy"

"No" Edward said quickly "They can stay it kind of involves everyone"

Emmett and Alice sat down and looked at us in confusion.

We sat there for a moment in silence until Alice blurted out "You're not pregnant are you Bella?"

"No!" Edward and I said quickly. I felt myself blush and as I looked at Edward I saw his face was a bit pink to.

Alice sighed in relief "Well than what is it?"

Edward took a deep breath and I could see his hands shaking, I reached over and gently took them in mine. He looked at me and than back at the floor. He than began telling them about what had happened to him.

Edward spoke softly and I could feel how scared he was. As he spoke I watched his family's reactions.

When he spoke of how his grandfather used to abuse him Esme gasped and tears spilled down her cheeks. Even though Edward wasn't looking I knew he heard her, but he still continued. Emmett was staring at the ground with a look of fury and…shame on his face, Carlisle had his face in his hands and Alice, like Esme, was crying softly.

When Edward had finished speaking I looked over at him and I could see the tears slowly running down his cheeks. I put my arm around him and hugged him tightly.

"I'm so proud of you" I whispered into his ear.

He nodded and buried his face in my neck.

Everyone was quiet for a long moment until Esme walked over to us slowly and sat down next to Edward. He let go of me and turned around to face her. She pulled him into her arms and they cried together.

I could feel the tears running down my face as I watched Esme holding Edward.

"I'm so sorry honey" I heard Esme whisper "You've been through so much"

Suddenly there was a huge banging sound and we all jumped.

"Mum" Alice whispered "Dad just…"

Carlisle had left the room slamming the door behind him. Esme started to get up to follow her husband. But Edward stopped her.

"Let me go"

Edward's POV

Telling my family what had happened was even worse then telling Bella. I couldn't look at any of them. When Esme hugged me I felt as though the walls that I had built between us were broken down. I felt like her son.

I followed Carlisle into the kitchen. He was sitting at the table with his face in his hands and his shoulders shaking.

I cleared my throat to let him know I was there.

He looked up slowly.

"I'm sorry" I whispered softly.

He looked at me in confusion "Sorry? There's nothing for you to be sorry for"

"I should have…I don't know…" I trailed off.

He got up and walked towards me and for the first time I didn't flinch away.

"Edward what happened was not your fault…I just wish" he pulled his hand through his hair "I should have known something had happened…I should have tried harder to get you help"

"No its not…." I started to say.

"You had to suffer on your own for so many years…" his voice broke and I felt terrible.

I did the only thing that made sense I moved forward and hugged him. I heard him gasp but then he wrapped his arms around me.

It was slightly awkward and I knew we had a long way to go but I knew in my heart that we would be ok.

After my talk with Carlisle I walked back into the lounge room where Alice and Emmett sat still looking shocked.

"Where's Bella?" I asked

"Talking to Mum" Alice said quietly as she walked towards me. "Edward I…"

It was weird seeing Alice lost for words. "Its ok I know" I said and she hugged me tightly as she sobbed.

After Alice walked out Emmett got up. "Edward" he started "I shouldn't have…"

I stopped him "I don't blame you for anything you said. I understand where you were coming from"

He nodded slightly "I'm really sorry"

I nodded back "I forgive you"

Bella's POV

After Edward had gone to talk to Carlisle, Esme pulled me into the hallway.

"Bella I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done" she said with tears in her eyes.

I didn't know what to say.

"You helped me to know my son" she said and I felt tears well up in my eyes. She wrapped her arms around me and I hugged her back tightly.

"He loves you very much" she said as she let go.

I nodded "I love him to"

"He's been through a lot and its not going to be easy" she said quietly

I nod again "I know but he's worth it"

She smiles at me "He certainly is"

We walked back into the living room where Edward and Emmett where talking. I walked over to Edward and he pulled me into a hug.

"Are you ok?" I whispered softly

He nodded "Yes"

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Later that day Edward went and spoke to his parents alone, I stayed in his room waiting for him to finish.

When he walked into the room he looked a little shaken but also like a huge weight had been lifted from him. He wasn't keeping his secret from the world anymore.

"Hey" he said and came and lay down on his bed with me.

"How'd it go?" I asked.

He pushed my hair back out of my eyes "It was ok they just had some more questions"

I nodded.

"And I have to try therapy again" he said frowning slightly

"It might help"

"I know I just…I don't want to speak to a stranger"

"Well you can just try it and see how it goes"

He nodded "Ok" he leaned over and kissed me gently.

I leaned in and brought him closer to me. I would never get used to kissing Edward; it was the greatest feeling in the world.

We kissed a bit longer and then he pulled away "Bella?" he whispered

"Yes?"

"I think I'm ready" he said burying his face in my hair.

I gasped in shock "What? You mean…"

"Only if you're ready, of course, I just want to be close to you" he whispered into my hair.

I felt breathless.

Was I ready?

**AN: Please review!!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything. **

Chapter 18

Bella's POV

I lay there stunned. Edward pulled himself above me to look at my face.

"Bella?" he asked searching my face.

"Edward…I'm not sure….I" I stuttered. I saw his face fall slightly.

"I mean I want to…but… are you sure you're ready?" I asked sceptically

He nodded slowly

I didn't know if it was the right thing to do but I needed to see if he was really ready. I reached down to touch him softly through his jeans and he immediately flinched away.

"See Edward your not…" I stopped when he pulled himself off me and buried his face in the pillow.

"I'm sorry" I whispered softly into his ear.

He turned around to face me again his face full of shame.

He kept his eyes closed and whispered so softly I had to lean in to hear him properly.

"I just…I just want to be as close as I can to you…I need to"

I felt my eyes tear up at his words.

"I know" I replied softly and wrapped my arms around him. It was true I knew exactly how it felt, to want to be as close to him as possible. For me to be close to Edward wasn't just anything it was kind of everything. "I feel the same but…not until your ready ok?"

I felt him nod his head against my chest.

We couldn't do this until we were both completely ready and I didn't know how long that would be but, for Edward, I would wait a lifetime.

One year later

Bella's POV

Edward had been going to therapy for the past year, ever since his talk with his parents. Although initially he was dead set against going, after a couple of sessions we could all see how they had benefitted him. His nightmares were beginning to cease and he was more open with both me and his family. He still occasionally had nightmares but he would always talk to me about it and discuss his fears.

The things he told me about his childhood and his grandfather scared the shit out of me and made me want to bring his grandfather back to life just so I could kill him myself. But I had to stay strong for both our sakes.

I fell more and more in love with this angel every day I spent with him. He and I fitted together perfectly and I knew in my heart that nothing could ever come between us and the love we shared.

Graduation was nearing and high school would officially be over. I felt mixed emotions about it ending. I knew that I would never see some of the people I saw everyday at school, ever again, and I felt sad but I had Edward and he was all I would ever need.

Edward, Alice, Jasper and I had all been accepted at the same college and would be attending together. The college also happened to be the same one that Emmett and Rosalie had been attending for the past year.

Things had worked out perfectly.

On the day of our graduation I was nervous for two reasons. The first that I would trip on the way to collect my diploma, something that I don't think anyone would be surprised to see me do, the second being that tonight was _the_ night.

After a year of therapy, many tears and a lot of healing Edward and I were finally ready.

As I was fixing my graduation gown Charlie walked into my room.

He looked at me for a moment his face filled with emotion "You look beautiful Bells, you're all grown up" his voice cracked a bit with emotion that I rarely heard from him. It made my eyes fill with tears.

"Thanks Dad" I said and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me tightly and kissed the top of my head.

"But you'll always be my little girl" he whispered softly.

I nodded the tears falling freely now "I know"

"Jessica Stanley"

I watched Jessica walk across the stage and I stood waiting for my name to be called. My heart was pounding, I was silently freaking out and my mind was considering every possible embarrassing scenario that could possibly occur. The number one was tripping while I was shaking the principals hand, bringing him down with him and my gown riding up to reveal my underwear to the whole audience.

"Isabella Swan"

I walked across the stage. Why is that when you have to walk in front of large crowd of people you suddenly forget how to walk correctly? I was suddenly very aware of the way my arms swung as I moved and how long my strides were. Thankfully after what seemed like two years I reached the principal, shook his hand and received my diploma. As I walked to my place in the line I caught Edward's eye. He smiled sweetly and winked, I could tell he was happy. These days Edward was almost always happy and this happiness made him even more beautiful.

He mouthed "Well done" and I knew he was referring to my not tripping. I had shared my fear with him that morning and he had teased me about it all day.

I stuck my tongue out at him and I saw his shoulders shake slightly at his silent laughter. I smiled and looked out into the crowd where I could see Charlie beaming back at me. He was sitting with Renee and Phil who had flown down for the day. I could also see Carlisle and Esme practically bursting with pride as they looked at Alice and Edward. Emmett and Rosalie had also made a trip to share in the celebrations.

Once we were off the stage everyone rushed forward to congratulate us. I was pulled into my mothers embrace and she gushed about how proud of me she was. After I was hugged and congratulated by everyone I looked around for Edward and when I found him he picked me up and swung me around in the air.

I squealed like a little girl and he laughed. He put me down on the ground and kissed me firmly.

"Where free!" he said dramatically.

I laughed "Finally" after four years of high school it was finally over.

We saw Emmett rush up to us and he pulled us both into a bone crushing hug.

"Party time" he yelled loudly almost bursting my eardrum.

Alice, of course, had planned an over the top graduation party. That girl never did anything half way; she had decorated the whole house and had enough food to feed a small country.

Edward and I stayed for a couple of hours but then we retreated to his bedroom. As we walked into his room I began to feel awkward and nervous, something which I never felt around Edward anymore.

He seemed to feel my unease as he placed a hand under my chin to make me look at him.

"Bella" he said softly his sweet breath blowing on my face "Are you okay?"

I nodded slightly averting my eyes.

"Bellaaa"

I sighed "I'm just…nervous I guess…I mean what if I'm not…good or what if…"

He interrupted me "Don't be silly it's not like I know what to do either…we'll just…learn together"

I relax slightly and smile at him. He looks at me his eyes deep and intense and he leans forward capturing my lips in his. I melt into him bringing myself even closer.

He walks us backwards until we reach his bed and we fall onto it out lips still together. His hands move up and down my sides slowly creeping slowly up my shirt, It feels so good and I can't help but to moan softly and I feel him smile against my lips.

"I like that sound" he whispers into my ear. I make the sound again and giggle as I feel him getting harder against my leg.

His hands pull my shirt over my head and I begin to unbutton his. As I get it open and off him he begins to pull off my bra and my breasts fall free. He immediately begins to kiss them and I moan again. I can tell that he is smirking so I roll us over so that I'm on top.

I start to kiss his neck and work my way down to his chest. I nip at the skin on his chest and I hear him make the most adorable, soft moaning sound and I feel as though I'm going to explode.

He rolls us back over again and begins to fumble with the button on my jeans, once he gets it open he slowly begins to pull them off me. He is going much to slow for my liking.

"Edward" I said impatiently.

"What?" he said a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Hurry up"

He laughs quietly and keeps pulling them off just as slowly.

"Edward" I whine and begin to kick my legs to make the process quicker. He laughs again but pulls them off and lies back down on top of me.

"Thank you"

He smiles and starts kissing me again.

I reach down and pull at his jeans but I can't open the button. He pulls away and begins to do it himself until he is in just his boxers.

He kisses my breast again and kneads them with his hands. He kisses down my stomach until he reaches my underwear where he places a soft kiss on my damp centre. I gasp slightly and feel myself get wetter.

He pulls my panties down and slides them down my legs. I start to feel nervous as he openly stares at me.

He looks up at me "You're so beautiful". I smile back and reach down to pull his boxers off.

I do it slowly and when I finally remove them I look down at him. I reach out tentatively and touch him gently. I look at Edward cautiously and hear him gasp, not from fear like last time but from pleasure. In that moment I knew that he had finally put some of his fears behind him.

Edward takes my hand and we fall back onto the bed "Are you ready" he whispers softly.

I nod and he reaches for a condom. When he is finished he positions himself between my legs.

"I love you" he whispers softly his forehead against mine.

"I love you to" I whisper back.

He kisses me hard as he slips gently into me and for a moment I feel pain. I gasp and I feel my eyes fill with tears.

"Are you okay?" he asks sounding worried.

I nod "Yes just…wait a second"

He stays completely still as I get used to him inside me. Once the pain goes away I nod at him to continue and he starts to rock gently back and forth. Now that the pain has gone I begin to feel the friction and waves of pleasure.

He thrusts in and out and I push my hips up to meet his thrusts. I hear him gasp and feel him start to shake as he comes. He collapses onto me his body shaking and I can feel his whole weight on me and it feels good.

He stays in me for a moment and then he slowly pulls out and rolls over hugging me to him tightly. I feel a loss as he pulls out. The feeling of he and I joined together was better than anything in the world. We lay in silence both of us panting softly.

He stares into my eyes and I can see how much he loves me and I hope that he can see in my eyes just how much I love him to.

**AN: Review please!!! **

**The next chapter will be the epilogue of the story. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and thank you to everyone who has reviewed.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey final chapter i hope you enjoy it.**

Epilogue

Edward's POV

Bella had saved my life.

When I looked back on my life ten years from when I met and fell in love with her I knew that it was true. I owed everything I had and everything I was to my beautiful angel. Who for some reason had seen something in me she loved enough to want to heal me.

During out time at college I came across a quote by Herbert Ward which said "Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime".

Every word of this quote is completely true. What had happened to me…no what was inflicted on me as a child would always affect me. It would be something that I would carry with me everyday for the rest of my life. It was out of my control, but the way I dealt with it and the way I didn't allow it ruin me was something I was in control of and struggled with every moment of my life.

My grandfather had taken away my innocence and most of my childhood but I'd be damned if I let him ruin my whole life.

Bella was what made me continue to fight and to live my life. She was the reason I got out of bed in the morning and the reason why I smiled. Without her I would be nothing.

She helped me to realise that I would not end up like my father that I was strong enough to live. He had given into his demons and ended his life but I had something to live for that I would never give up.

I had once thought that it was some messed up version of fate that had brought us together. But I fucking thanked whoever or whatever had led me to Bella because she was my destiny and my future. She had not only saved my life but helped me to find who I was.

After college we got married it was the happiest day of my life, as I married the most beautiful women in the world. We talked about having children something I was initially worried about but with Bella by my side I know everything will be fine and that I will be the best father that I can be.

Emmett and Rosalie where married a couple of years before us and Alice and Jasper a couple of years after. My relationship with my family had improved even more over the years and my siblings and I were incredibly close. As were my parents and I, I would be eternally grateful for all that they had done for me.

My heart had been broken and had never fully healed until I met Bella. My heart now belonged to her and she would keep it with her forever.

**AN: Thanks to everyone who read this story and reviewed it i really appreciate it. I've started a new story which will be much happier its called Playing the Player so please read it and review thanks.**

**This is a summary of the new story**

AH, Bella's been hurt in the past, when she encounters the rich player Edward Cullen, she is dared by her new friends to make him fall for her and then dump him. Bella is out for revenge and will do anything to make Edward pay for all the hearts he has broken. But will love get in the way of her plans?


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